The Life and Times of Bruce Gerencser

Do I Owe Former Church Members an “Explanation” for My Deconversion from Christianity?

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Bruce Gerencser

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peanut gallery

Recently, I received the following email from a Christian man named William:

NOW THAT YOU HAVE RENOUNCED CHRISTIANITY DO YOU FEEL YOU OWE IT TO THE CHRISTIANS YOU PREACHED TO AN EXPLANATION – HENCE, YOUR BLOG? AND WHEN YOU WERE A PREACHER DID YOU “TRULY” BELIEVE(AT LEAST AT THAT POINT IN TIME) WHAT YOU WERE TELLING THEM? OR WERE THERE DOUBTS FORMING EVEN THEN?

Evidently, William must think I am deaf since he SHOUTED his message to me. That aside, Williams asked three questions:

  • DO YOU FEEL YOU OWE IT TO THE CHRISTIANS YOU PREACHED TO AN EXPLANATION?
  • WHEN YOU WERE A PREACHER DID YOU “TRULY” BELIEVE WHAT YOU WERE TELLING THEM?
  • WERE THERE DOUBTS FORMING EVEN THEN?

No, I don’t owe former congregants an explanation for my loss of faith. Why should I, any more than anyone else, owe people an explanation for the major decisions I have made in my life? I owe my partner, Polly, an explanation, and maybe my children, grandchildren, siblings, and close friends, but everyone else? I don’t owe them anything. That said, I have spent the past eighteen years explaining why I left Christianity. Anyone, including former church members, can easily read about and understand my story. Millions of words have been sacrificed in my attempt to share my past and present experiences. A quick search of this site will answer every question a person might have.

William asks if I “truly” believed what I was preaching to church members? Of course, I did. There’s nothing in my life that suggests I was anything other than a committed follower of Jesus. You will search in vain for someone who knew me at the time that would suggest otherwise. While I am now an atheist, at the time I believed the core tenets of Christianity and did my best to follow the teachings of the Bible.

Doubts? We all have them. Did I ever have doubts as an Evangelical preacher? Sure. The difference between then and now is how I handle doubts. As a Christian, I trusted God to make all things known to me at his appointed time, according to his perfect will for my life. Instead of trusting God, I now trust my intellect and the academic skills I have developed over the years. When doubts crop up, I try to resolve them. And when I can’t, I say a prayer to Loki and put the matter away until I have better knowledge and understanding. Doubt is very much a part of the human experience.

I hope I adequately answered William’s questions.

Saved by Reason,

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Bruce Gerencser, 69, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 48 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.

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Comments

4 responses to “Do I Owe Former Church Members an “Explanation” for My Deconversion from Christianity?”

  1. Avatar
    Matthew

    The Audacity of Divine Privilege

    It is telling that “William” chose to SHOUT his questions. In the religious mindset, volume is often a substitute for validity. When the arguments for a “capricious god” fail under the weight of human reason, the next logical step for the believer is to raise their voice—or their gavel.

    William’s questions aren’t just inquiries; they are veiled accusations. By asking if you “owe” an explanation or if you “truly” believed, he is implying that your departure was a breach of contract or a long-term con. It’s the ultimate gaslighting: if you leave, you were either a liar then or a debtor now.

    The Moral Bankruptcy of “Judgment”

    The most striking part of this exchange is the irony of a created being being judged by a “Creator” who, by the Bible’s own admission, has a track record that would make any earthly tyrant blush.

    The Double Standard: We are told that God is “Good,” yet he is credited with the slaughter of innocents, the sanctioning of slavery, and the creation of a system where eternal torture is the punishment for finite “crimes” like honest doubt.

    The Victim-Blaming: Religion demands that we apologize for our “sinful nature”—a nature that this god supposedly designed—while he remains exempt from the moral standards he demands of us.

    The Arrogance of Accountability: William feels you owe your former congregants an explanation. Why? Because in the church, your life is public property. Breaking away is a refusal to remain a “project” for others to manage.

    Replacing Faith with Intellectual Integrity

    You made a vital point: the transition from “trusting God” to trusting one’s own intellect.

    When a preacher leaves the pulpit, they aren’t “losing” their way; they are finding their voice. The reason believers like William find this so threatening is that it proves morality doesn’t require a master. We don’t owe an apology to a silent god for using the brain he supposedly gave us to realize he isn’t there.

    If there is any “debt” owed, it is to the truth. And truth is best served by exactly what this blog does: being honest about the past, clear about the present, and unapologetic about the exit.

    Reply
  2. BJW

    No. No one is owed an explanation; you don’t need to give them one.

    Reply
  3. Avatar
    ObstacleChick

    Why is it expected that nonbelievers give account for not believing yet believers are considered the norm?

    Reply
  4. velovixen

    Obstacle: Your question reminds me of what I face as a transgender woman. Too many people think I owe them an explanation (which, of course, never satisfies them) but they don’t have to defend their heterosexuality or cisgenderedness. Other people in the LGBTQ spectrum deal with the same thing.

    It’s one thing to be part of the majority, as Christians are in the US and straight and cisgender people are in the world. But it’s another to think that being part of the majority is the only right way to be.

    Reply

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