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The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Just a Bunch of Filthy Sodomites in a Bar by Steven Anderson

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steven anderson

This is the sixty-eighth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Steven Anderson, pastor of Faithful Word Baptist Church, Tempe, Arizona. This video clearly shows that Steven Anderson has taken over Fred Phelps’ throne and is now the most vile and disgusting man in America.

(video removed from YouTube)

The original video was removed by YouTube. It can still be viewed here.

Transcript (Thanks to Hemant Mehta)

The good news is that there’s 50 less pedophiles in this world, because, you know, these homosexuals are a bunch of disgusting perverts and pedophiles. That’s who was a victim here, are a bunch of, just, disgusting homosexuals at a gay bar, okay?

But the bad news is that this is now gonna be used, I’m sure, to push for gun control, where, you know, law-abiding normal Americans are not gonna be allowed to have guns for self-defense. And then I’m sure it’s also gonna be used to push an agenda against so-called “hate speech.” So Bible-believing Christian preachers who preach what the Bible actually says about homosexuality — that it’s vile, that it’s disgusting, that they’re reprobates — you know, we’re gonna be blamed. Like, “It’s all extremism! It’s not just the Muslims, it’s the Christians!” I’m sure that that’s coming. I’m sure that people are gonna start attacking, you know, Bible-believing Christians now, because of what this guy did.

Now let me just be real clear: I’ve never advocated for violence. I don’t believe in, you know, taking the law into our own hands. I would never go in and shoot up a gay bar — so-called. I don’t believe it’s right for us to just be a vigilante… But I will say this: The Bible says that homosexuals should be put to death, in Leviticus 20:13. Obviously, it’s not right for somebody to just, you know, shoot up the place, because that’s not going through the proper channels. But these people all should have been killed, anyway, but they should have been killed through the proper channels, as in they should have been executed by a righteous government that would have tried them, convicted them, and saw them executed. Because, in Leviticus 20:13, God’s perfect law, he put the death penalty on murder, and he also put the death penalty on homosexuality. That’s what the Bible says, plain and simple.

So, you know, the good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not gonna be harming children anymore. The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive, so they’re gonna continue to molest children and recruit people into their filthy homosexual lifestyle…
…
I’m not sad about it, I’m not gonna cry about it. Because these… 50 people in a gay bar that got shot up, they were gonna die of AIDS, and syphilis, and whatever else. They were all gonna die early, anyway, because homosexuals have a 20-year shorter life-span than normal people, anyway…

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: God is Doing a New Thang by Unknown White Christian Rapper

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my ears hurt

This is the sixty-seventh installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is an unknown white Christian rapper singing God is Doing a New Thang.

Video Link

Songs of Sacrilege: In the Beginning by Todd Snider

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This is the one hundred and sixteenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is In the Beginning by Todd Snider.

Video Link

Lyrics

In the beginning, man wondered to himself:
Why, oh why are we here?
And yet, with each asking of this question
the answer would become even less clear
Overwhelmed by fear, distraction took its place
And so it was, in the world’s first shelter
That we began the human race
The human race to fill up more and more empty space
Oh, how we loved, the human race

Until one day this one guy said to this other guy, he said:
Hey, have you seen that guy over there?
He’s got more than everybody else has got
To me, that don’t seem fair
Well, the second guy agreed with the first guy
Everybody else did too
Til they all got so worked up, they figured
there was something they just had to do:
Divide his things up among each other
After they killed him of course
They could see no real good reason not to just
Take what they wanted by force
When they found him he said:
Hey, wait a minute fellas, I wouldn’t kill me just now
You can see that I’ve got more than any of you
Have ever got, wouldn’t you first at least like to know how?
And with that, he had their attention
And with that, he went on loud and clear, he said:
You all know how long we’ve all wondered
Why, oh why are we here?
Well today I’m gonna tell ya all about it
I’m gonna teach ya about sufferin’ and bliss
I’m gonna teach y’all a little bout Heaven and Hell
And the God that gave me all this
God gave me this because I’m humble
And he can do the same for you too
But if you’re seekin’ his love and affection
What you’re doin’ is the last thing I’d do
He sends killers to hellfire, both here and eternally
The good live forever in a place called Heaven
God told me this personally

Who you gonna trust if you can’t trust me?

So unless you want suffering and heartache
Unless you want trouble and fear
You better find some kinda way to humble yourself
May I suggest helpin’ me clean up around here?
‘Course I could pay ya a little bit a money
But more importantly God would see
And if He sees you workin’ humbly
Some day he may give you what he’s given me

Well the crowd just didn’t know what to do with that
Nor could they prove what he said wasn’t true
And since he had what everyone else thought they wanted
It seemed like the thing to do
And with that we rolled into the future
And ain’t it a son of a bitch
To think that we would still need religion
To keep the poor from killin’ the rich?

Who are you gonna trust if you don’t trust me?

Songs of Sacrilege: Conservative, Christian, Right-Wing Republican, Straight,White, American Males by Todd Snider

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This is the one hundred and fifteenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Conservative, Christian, Right-Wing Republican, Straight White American Males by Todd Snider.

Video Link

Lyrics

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American male.
Gay bashin, black fearin, poor fightin, tree killin, regioal leaders of sales
Frat housin, keg tappin, shirt tuckin, back slappin haters of hippies like me.
Tree huggin, peace lovin, pot smokin, porn watchin lazyass hippies like me.
Tree huggin, love makin, pro choicen, gay weddin, widespread diggin hippies like me.
Skin color-blinded, conspiracy-minded, protestors of corporate greed,
We who have nothing and most likely will till we all wind up locked up in jails
By conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,.

Diamonds and dogs, boys and girls, living together in two separate worlds
Following leaders of mountains of shame, looking for someone to blame.

Diamonds and dogs, boys and girls, living together in two separate worlds
Following leaders of mountains of shame, looking for someone to blame.
I know who I like to blame:

Conservative Christian, right wing Republican, straight, white, American males,
Soul savin, flag wavin, Rush lovin, land pavin personal friends to the Quayles
Quite diligently workin so hard to keep the free reins of this Democracy
From tree huggin, peace lovin, pot smokin, barefootin folk-singin hippies like me.
Tree huggin, peace lovin, pot smokin, porn watchin lazyass hippies like me.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Creationism is the Only Possible Answer to All the Questions

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jesus camp

This is the sixty-sixth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from the documentary Jesus Camp. This clip shows a Fundamentalist homeschooling mom “educating” her son.

Video Link

Songs of Sacrilege: Rant by Bo Burnham

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This is the one hundred and fourteenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Rant by Bo Burnham.

Video Link

Lyrics

All the seats at the Sunday masses,
Filled with the mass’s massive asses,
Classes pass as fast as molasses.
Ceremonial reading glasses.
Read a little bit of Leviticus.
All the kids are a little too little for this.
All the parents nod in agreement –
“I think I can vaguely see what he meant.”
It’s too early in the morning glory
To read another allegory story,
The father, reads a little bit farther,
Assuring the assured that they need not bother
“When god, in verse 45, said that slaves are okay to buy,
He meant that people, all from the start
Each have slaves within their hearts.
Things, that we have sold or boughten, that are forced to pick our moral cotton
God calls us to set these free, free our hearts from slavery…
And then as god goes on to explain the logistics of buying and selling slaves…”

(Uh, He—ju—the Bible’s sorta like…
It’s like, typos… didn’t…)

In the back, I sit and I nod to the beats that are bumpin’ from my iPod
My god, they’re starting to pray
And over the music I can hear them say
“dear god, dear lord, dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword.
Dear good all-seeing being, my way or the highway Yahweh.
The blue-balled anti-masturbator, the great, all-loving faggot hater,
I’d like to thank your holy might for making me both rich and white
And though this is your day of rest, I come to you with one request
There’s so much pain beyond this steeple,
Wars and drugs and homeless people.
Sadness, where there should be joy, hate and rape and Soulja Boy.
A world in darkness needs your light, so I’m sure your schedule’s pretty tight
But my dog just had surgery if you could fix that first…
Jesus?

Debra Messing’s fingers in a holy place, “Hail Mary full of grace.”

Obama, could you pass some hope to the pope
I know a couple dude’s who wanna elope
See the church said, “nope” so the bros can’t cope.
(the bros can grope but the bros can’t cope)
They’ve been in love, they’ve been addicted
Who said they shouldn’t? Benedict did.
Cause in the holy land of the lord he’s the holy landlord and dicks are evicted.
Cause you can be a benedict if you’ve been a dick under Benedict but
You can’t have benedicts because there’s only one pope with only one dick
What? Yeah, a dick on a pope is
Just like a soap on a rope cause it’s
Pointless, unless in prison, throw up your bibles, Christ has risen.
Hallelujah, now it’s raining men,
Because the gender ratio is 1 to 10.
Winos at the Eucharist station, trans-gendered-substantiation
Jesus wasn’t the messiah, get back I’m a heretic and I’m on fire
It was Oedipus, those holy nights
The holy motherfucking Christ.
I’m a blasphemer post-Katrina cruising the marina. On a crusade to cruise aids
And blast FEMA
You’re too late, we’re fucked we don’t need ya.

Amen
In the name of the father, son and holy ghost
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Turn up your nose, strike that pose.
Hey, Macarena

Songs of Sacrilege: Tennessee by Stephen Lynch

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This is the one hundred and thirteenth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Tennessee by Stephen Lynch.

Video Link

Lyrics

I’ve seen rocky mountains and great lakes
Stood beneath a redwood tree
But wherever I go my heart aches
For a place called Tennessee

Oh come with me
Where the Whiskey flows like wine
And the meth labs are divine
Oh I wanna be
Where the sweet tobacco grows
And it’s picked by poor Negros
In Tennessee

Oh it’s a place where dueling banjos play
And the mountain folk run free
Where all the children can spell KKK
But cannot spell Tennessee

Oh come with me
Where every cheek is filled with chew
And no one’s ever seen a Jew
Oh I wanna be
Where the hotdogs are deep fried
That’s the reason Elvis died
In Tennessee

Oh come with me
Where the Baptist preachers shout
That if you’re gay you best get out
Oh I wanna be
Where hospitality’s the thing
Just ask Martin Luther King
Shot in Tennessee

The birth place of Aretha queen of soul
The B.B. King and Al Gore
I’m not saying it’s a shit hole
But they don’t live there anymore

Oh I wanna see
Mountain dew in every cup
And all the dentists just gave up
Oh come with me
On my fat bed pickup truck
That’s where the classy ladies fuck
In Tennessee

Oh in Tennessee

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Dead Sperm Can’t Impregnate Nothin’ by Eddie Long

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eddie long

This is the sixty-fifth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Eddie Long, pastor of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, Dekalb County, Georgia.

Video Link

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Every Atheist Believes in the God of the Bible by Kevin St. John

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kevin st john

This is the sixty-fourth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Kevin St. John. St. John is Canadian street preacher associated with a Calvinistic ministry called Calgary Peacemakers.

Video Link

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: I Am Not a Racist by Saint John

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preachers say the darndest things

This is the sixty-third installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by street preacher Saint John. Sorry John, you ARE a racist.

Video Link