Several years ago, The Foundations of Morality blog posted an article by “Dr.” David Brown that gives seven reasons why Christians should NEVER, EVER drink alcoholic beverages (links have been removed due to the malware they serve up):
Drinking leads to drunkenness
The Bible condemns strong drink
In Bible times what Christians drank was sub-alcoholic, basically purified water
It will call others to stumble
It harms our bodies which are the Lord’s
Alcohol is addictive
Believers are kings and priests separated unto God
Are you ready, contestants? It’s time to play The Evangelical Never, Ever Game.
Using David Brown’s “logic,” I can come to the following conclusion:
Eating food leads to gluttony
The Bible condemns gluttony
Gluttony will cause others to stumble
Gluttony harms our bodies
Eating food is addictive
Conclusion? Don’t eat food.
Wasn’t that fun? Let’s play another round.
Sex leads to fornication and adultery
The Bible condemns fornication and adultery
Fornication and adultery will cause others to stumble
Fornication and adultery harm our bodies (not really, but Christians think they do)
Sex is addictive
Conclusion? Don’t have sex.
Isn’t this game fun? Feel free to continue playing the game in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
Olugbenga Oladejo is the pastor of Complete in Christ Church, an Evangelical congregation in Orton Waterville, Peterborough, England. The church’s website states, Complete in Christ Church is:
an end-time church dedicated to holiness, righteousness, prayers and deliverance ministries. We are committed to going to heaven and to minister to as many souls as are ready to go to heaven. We recognise the signs of the end as explained by our Lord Jesus Christ that the love of many shall wax cold (Matthew 24) as we can see in our days. Therefore we teach sinners to repent and children of God to be ready like the wise virgins (Matthew 25).
The Lord Jesus Christ set up this church to bring his children back to the ancient landmark which must not be removed. Proverbs 22:28. That is why in Complete in Christ Church we teach holiness and righteousness and abhor all forms of worldliness. We teach children of God to live holy life within and without. When you join us, our beginners class to discipleship class will show you biblical basis of holy living, Psalm15.
Our commitment to holy living is also extended towards outward appearance in our dressings as we discourage all forms of immoral dressings and bodily adornments among men and women.
Complete in Christ Church is a full deliverance ministries where prayers that move mountain are answered by our Lord Jesus Christ. Our services are always full of power of the Holy Spirit with apostolic signs and wonders. Holy Spirit will teach your hands to war, so that a bow of steel is broken by your arms (Psalm 18:34).
In complete in Christ Church we lift up and glorify our Lord Jesus Christ only in all we do For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all principality and power (Colosians2:9-10).
According to Pastor Oladejo, any married couple that has sex in any other position but the missionary position with the man on top will not inherit the kingdom of God. Doggie style? Hell! Masturbation? Hell! Your sex life may be hot now, but use any position but the missionary position and you will end up in hell!
Here’s some of the godly sex advice Oladejo gives to married people:
The lord told me, “look, when I asked my children to get married… on their matrimonial bed, they commit a lot of immorality.” He said I should tell them that they are not going to heaven. There is an everlasting covenant. Those who break that everlasting covenant are not going to make it into heaven.
Couples who practice the woman on top… I want to repeat this, because this is the warning he gave me….When you are with your wife, the lord has made man to be the head. Not the woman. So those men who enjoy their wife coming on top of them in the matrimonial bed, the lord says they are not coming to heaven at all...
The lord told me about those who practice like a dog. The lord did not to create you to behave like a dog on your matrimonial bed. Or like a cow. Or like a chicken.”
“If you are practicing hanging with your wife [bondage], you are inventing different styles… Don’t go and be hanging your wife. Don’t go and be hanging your husband. Do not try different styles: they do sex in different styles that are contrary to god.”
“Those who masturbate. That department [of hell] is for them. Those who give lustful pleasure to the flesh. Women who masturbate. Men who masturbate… The demons will come to them.” And while the masturbator “soul will cry,” the demons “will be laughing. And they will be happy.”
“The man should lie on top of the woman. The natural style, the one way god has given us as man and wife.”
Here’s the pastor’s video. The sex advice begins around the six-minute mark:
Let me conclude this post with a story told by Pastor Oladejo:
Humanity is lost to sin and now we are unable to see God. One day, I went to the a [sic] place called the Royal Mile in the City center of Edinburgh the capital of Scotland. I saw many people gather as a preacher was calling for repentance among men.
One man stepped forward and identified himself as an athiest [sic] and that he does not believe in the existence of God. He told everyone that man was developed from Evolution. I saw the ignorance on the face of the man and I request to ask a question.
My question was that if the theory of Evolution was true why did that happened only once. Why have we not seen another Ape developing to become humans again! The athiest [sic] could not answer the question but maintained that men came out of Ape.
One day you will face the Lord, even if you dont [sic] want to face him. That day is going to be fearful and terrible if you do not have Jesus in your life. It is important that you realised that ignorance will not be acceptable before God but God will judge you with only one thing, The BIBLE!! It is therefor [sic] in your best interest to go to your Bible and see what is written in it so that you can save your soul from eternal damnation.
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
“Look around in your life, in your church. How many Christians do you see bent with all their powers to know God more and more — more truly, more clearly, more sweetly? Or, rather, do you see thousands fighting graduate school sins with a grammar school knowledge of God?”
Some of you might say, ‘Wait, there are as many PhDs in theology who commit adultery as less-educated people.’ To which I would say, ‘Probably more.’ Why is it that people with PhDs in theology commit adultery? They don’t know God.”
“You can read theology 10 hours a day for 40 years and not know God as beautiful and all-satisfying — as the highest treasure of your life. Who cares about knowing God the way the devil knows God? He hates everybody. His knowledge of God helps him hate people.”
“We’re talking about knowing God here in 1 Thessalonians. They don’t know God. They don’t know God for who He is — infinitely valuable, infinitely beautiful, infinitely satisfying — why your soul was made. There are more pleasures at His right hand, more eternal joys in His presence, than you could have in 10,000 sexual trysts.
“The question is, do you know that? If you know that, sin will have lost its dominion in your life,”
https://vimeo.com/122588629
No commentary from me. The headline is what came to my mind as I read the news story about Piper’s sermon. I know . . . so depraved.
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
Warning! This song contains explicit sexual references.
This is the latest installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Saving Myself for Jesus by Birdcloud ( duo Jasmin Kaset and Makenzie Green).
Within the past forty-eight hours, two news items related to the Catholic Church caught my attention. One saddened me; the other left me furious but not surprised.
Les francaises sont tres choqués wrote a friend of mine who lives just outside the City of Light. Tout le monde est tres choqué, I responded. Indeed, the French were shocked at the Notre Dame Cathedral fire, and so was the world. I have divorced myself from the Catholicism in which I was raised, and my friend is a non-believer of Jewish heritage. But we both love art, architecture, history and Paris itself, so we feared the loss of one of the monuments Sir Kenneth Clark all but defined as civilization itself. Even in a country that prides itself on laïcité, the Notre Dame is the very epicenter of the nation: distances between Paris and other points in France are measured from the Cathedral.
It seems, thankfully, that the main structure of the Cathedral, and its iconic rose windows, were spared. But as the spire burned away, a leader of the Roman Church was igniting controversy—and re-inflaming old wounds some of us have suffered at the hands of the church’s entrusted servants.
I am referring to a letter from Benedict XVI, the Pope Emeritus. He’d written it several days before the Notre Dame conflagration, but it was going viral right around the time when les pompiers were expressing uncertainty as to whether the 850-year-old house of worship could be saved. Even in an age defined by an American President whose explanation of “the crisis at the border” might be confused with a porn movie script that was rejected because its plot was too unbelievable, Benedict’s explication of the origins of sexual abuse by priests would be seen as disingenuous or simply dishonest if it weren’t so bizarre and discombobulated. Not surprisingly, he blames an “egregious event”: the “collapse” of “previously normative standards regarding sexuality” in the 1960s:
The matter begins with the state-prescribed and supported introduction of children and youths into the nature of sexuality…
Sexual and pornographic movies then became a common occurrence, to the point that they were screened at newsreel theaters [Bahnhofskinos]…
Among the freedoms that the Revolution of 1968 sought to fight for was this all-out sexual freedom, one which no longer conceded any norms.
So far, nothing is surprising. Benedict is simply employing what seems to be the Church’s “go-to” explanation: Sexual permissiveness is to blame, and it started in the ‘60s. Francis himself has said as much. But, from there, Benedict seems to be taking his cues in critical thinking from our Porn Connoisseur-In-Chief:
The mental collapse was also linked to a propensity for violence. That is why sex films were no longer allowed on airplanes, because violence would break out among the small community of passengers. And since the clothing of that time equally provoked aggression, school principals also made attempts at introducing school uniforms with a view to facilitating a climate of learning.
Part of the physiognomy of the Revolution of ‘68 was that pedophilia was then also diagnosed as allowed and appropriate.
Now, maybe I haven’t flown enough, but I never knew that “sex films” were shown during flights. Sure, I’ve been on transatlantic flights where the likes of Léon the Professional and La Femme Nikita were shown. And, yes, Europeans are less squeamish than Americans or other people are about seeing some skin in their movies, but I would hardly label those two films, or any other airline cinematic offerings, as “sex films.” Moreover, while there has been some violence among passengers, I don’t recall hearing of any that was provoked by the showing of anything on an airborne screen.
Some school principals indeed made “attempts at introducing school uniforms.” But, as far as I can tell, any “aggression” provoked by students’ attire wasn’t a result of its sexual provocativeness; rather, it was a result of kids trying to impress each other with designer labels or being enraged by seeing the colors of a rival gang.
And, I’m no expert in the field, but to my knowledge, nowhere has pedophilia been “diagnosed” as “allowed and appropriate” except, perhaps, in NAMBLA literature. Certainly, no one approves of it: Almost any time a teacher, priest or someone else is accused of inappropriate contact, the cries for his or her removal are all but unanimous among parents and others in the community.
So, the former Pope is either seriously deluded about the phenomenon of priests taking advantage of the young people entrusted to them—or he, like too many other church officials, is trying to deflect blame away from those who deserve it: the perpetrators and those who enable and, worse, fail to penalize them.
While the original look and “feel” of the Notre Dame’s spire cannot be replicated, and artworks and artifacts lost in the blaze cannot be replaced, at least most of the cathedral’s grandeur can be saved and/or restored. The same cannot be said for the trust and faith many people had in their priests and church as long as the likes of Benedict offer up explanations for the real crisis in his church that are no more credible for than the ones the American President offers for the Trumped-up “crisis at the border.”
Some Evangelicals believe that women should be submissive in every way, including during sex. For these Neanderthals, the missionary position is the proper, God-approved way to engage in sexual intercourse. No oral sex, no anal sex, no trying out the Kama Sutra, and most certainly no woman on top sexual intercourse. Why? Because when the woman is on top she is in a position of dominance and control. Can’t have that. Thus, to answer the question posed in the post title: it is indeed a sin to save a horse by riding a cowboy.
The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.
Loften Thornton, a Protestant Navy chaplain, was recently videotaped having consensual sex with a woman outside of a New Orleans bar.
Ramon Vargas, a reporter for The New Orleans Advocate, writes:
New Orleans may have a libertine reputation, but what happened last month just outside the Crown & Anchor bar in Algiers Point was too much for owner Neil Timms.
Right in plain view of his surveillance camera, he said, a Navy chaplain, Capt. Loften Thornton, and his female companion were having sex.
“It was the fact that it was a chaplain and it was in public” that upset him, Timms said.
So he handed over video of the tryst to authorities at the nearby Marine Forces Reserve base in Algiers. The chaplain was fired a few days later, officials said.
According to Timms, he’d met Thornton a couple of times before at the British-themed Crown & Anchor and understood he was a chaplain at the Marine Forces Reserve base about a mile away in Federal City.
Timms said people at the bar noticed Thornton and a woman slip outside of the bar on Pelican Avenue together on March 15. Somebody in the bar walked around the corner, saw Thornton and the woman having sex, and asked them to stop, which they did, Timms said.
Timms said he reviewed his security video, realized the act had been recorded and notified the Federal City base. He said he believed the encounter was consensual but was still alarmed that it involved a military chaplain.
In a statement Wednesday, the Corps said that Lt. Gen. Rex McMillian, the Marine Forces Reserve commander, fired Thornton on March 20 “due to a loss of trust and confidence.” The statement did not specify what triggered the dismissal, citing an ongoing investigation.
A report Wednesday in USA Today, however, cited two anonymous Department of Defense sources who said authorities “were examining” footage showing Thornton having sex with a woman outside the Crown & Anchor, which is popular with members of the military in New Orleans, especially on the west bank.
Attempts to contact Thornton on Wednesday were unsuccessful.
Thornton became a Navy chaplain in 1992, according to USA Today. Officials said he is a Protestant chaplain.
This is the one hundred seventieth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Love’s my religion
But he was my faith
Something so sacred
So hard to replace
Fallin’ for him was like fallin’ from grace
All wrapped in one
He was so many sins
Would have done anything
Everything for him
And if you ask me
I would do it again
No need to imagine
‘Cause I know it’s true
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
It’s automatic
It’s just what they do
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
You don’t realise the power they have
Until they leave you and you want them back
Nothing in this world prepares you for that
I’m not a sinner;
He wasn’t the one
Had no idea what we would become
There’s no regrets
I just thought it was fun
No need to imagine
‘Cause I know it’s true
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
It’s automatic
It’s just what they do
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
I still remember the moment we met
The touch that he planted
The garden he left
I guess the rain was just half that effect
No need to imagine
‘Cause I know it’s true
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
It’s automatic
It’s just what they do
They say all good boys go to Heaven
But bad boys bring Heaven to you
This is the one hundred sixty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Songs of Sacrilege is Resurrection by Erection by Powerwolf.
Warning! This song contains sexually graphic lyrics.
When purgatory’s waiting
And the girl immaculate
The highest of commandments dictates to copulate
No grave is animated, you’re buried all alone
So let her work a wonder
And wake your flesh and bone
Resurrection by erection
Raise you phallus to the sky and you never die
It’s resurrection by erection
Raise your bone up to the sky and you never gonna die
Hallelujah, resurrection
The funeral is calling
The mortuary blow
Between my legs I’m waking
I rise from down below
Why do you think believer
God gave you carnal lust
So pray to get a hard on
Before we turn to dust
Resurrection by erection
Raise you phallus to the sky and you never die
It’s resurrection by erection
When you wake up from the dead, and the angels give a head
Hallelujah, resurrection
(Resurrection!)
(Resurrection!)
(Resurrection!)
Now I want my resurrection
Oh, I long for resurrection
All I want is resurrection now
(Resurrection!) Nooooooooooowww!
The devil and the maiden
Prepare for going wild
The new messiah calling
The purgatory child
Before my flesh is fading
The virgin has a turn
The third of days we’re climbing the point of no return
Resurrection (Resurrection) by erection (by erection)
Raise you phallus to the sky and you never die
It’s resurrection (resurrection) by erection (by erection)
Raise your bone up to the sky and you never gonna die
Hallelujah, resurrection
This is the one hundred and sixty-seventh installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of a Christian artist Beckah Shae singing a reworded version of Ed Sheeran’s song, Shape of You.
[Verse 1]
The club isn’t the best place to find a lover
So the bar is where I go
Me and my friends at the table doing shots
Drinking fast and then we talk slow
And you come over and start up a conversation with just me
And trust me I’ll give it a chance now
Take my hand, stop, put Van the Man on the jukebox
And then we start to dance, and now I’m singing like
[Pre-Chorus]
Girl, you know I want your love
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don’t mind me
Say, boy, let’s not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
[Chorus]
I’m in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I’m in love with your body
And last night you were in my room
And now my bed sheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with the shape of you
[Verse 2]
One week in we let the story begin
We’re going out on our first date
You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat
Fill up your bag and I fill up a plate
We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour
And how your family is doing okay
Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat
Tell the driver make the radio play, and I’m singing like
[Pre-Chorus]
Girl, you know I want your love
Your love was handmade for somebody like me
Come on now, follow my lead
I may be crazy, don’t mind me
Say, boy, let’s not talk too much
Grab on my waist and put that body on me
Come on now, follow my lead
Come, come on now, follow my lead
[Chorus]
I’m in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I’m in love with your body
And last night you were in my room
And now my bed sheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Oh—I—oh—I—oh—I—oh—I
I’m in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with the shape of you
[Bridge]
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
[Chorus]
I’m in love with the shape of you
We push and pull like a magnet do
Although my heart is falling too
I’m in love with your body
Last night you were in my room
And now my bed sheets smell like you
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I’m in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I’m in love with your body
Come on, be my baby, come on
Come on, be my baby, come on
I’m in love with your body
Every day discovering something brand new
I’m in love with the shape of you
Guest post by MJ Lisbeth
