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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Woman, Make Me a Sammich by Lori Alexander

womens-workLife isn’t about “following our dreams/achieving our career aspirations” if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. His Lordship over our lives demands that we do what He has asked us to do and give Him the glory, not ourselves. If we are doing anything for our own glory, we are doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately,  I fear that most women who pursue the dream of a career are doing so for the things they find are important while ignoring what God asks of them. The Lord God wants women to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). This is not only His will, but His best for Christian women. Being able to bear children and raise them for the Lord gives glory to the God and insures that another generation of godly offspring is born into the Kingdom of God. There is no higher calling upon a woman’s life, but that is not to say that God cannot or does not have other callings designed for women who never marry.

Getting an education and achieving career aspirations is far too often about giving glory to oneself. “What college are you going to, and what career path will you take?” are the common questions posed to most young Christian women, instead of asking the important question, “Have you given any consideration to what God clearly desires for Christian women?” Certainly if a woman is young and unmarried, she is free to pursue an education but as with everything in life she must count the cost. How many are in bondage to school debt and or feel trapped in careers and can’t quit when they have children? Don’t be at all fooled by the glitz and glamour and pleasures of this world. There is no free lunch,  so now is the time to count the cost of a career.

“It seems that, and tell me if I’m wrong, that you’re placing a woman’s sole worth on bearing children and creating a happy marriage for her husband.” Her worth comes from the Lord and not from anything she does. He is the one who wants women to bear children and raise godly offspring. What can be more important than raising the next generation? If she can’t have children or she doesn’t get married, the Lord can still use her in powerful ways in the lives of others since we should spend our lives serving others and giving our lives away.  Concerning marriage, the Word says, “She that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34). The Bible says the greatest of all is the servant of all. All Christian women should find a way to serve others and use their gifts to bring the Lord glory.
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“What is wrong with a woman having those same things even if there is a man or child in the picture?” If she is married, her priority should be to her husband and being the best help meet to him she can. If she comes home every day after working full time and is too exhausted to fix him a good meal, unable to keep the home clean and tidy, and not available sexually, she should either work less or not at all. God calls women to be keepers at home, not men. He also created wives to be their husband’s help meet, not vice versa. This is God’s will for us and when roles are clearly defined, marriage works easier. If there is a child in the picture, she should be with that child full time since he/she needs and wants their mother.
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Most women who just randomly find my blog have no idea why I teach what I teach. They mistakenly believe I am just thinking this all up on my own and sending women back 100 years. No, I am just teaching them to be a woman after God’s heart and not their own.

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Should Women Have Career Aspirations?, October 12, 2016

16 Comments

  1. Avatar
    Brian

    Lori is right on! She speaks for evangelical fundamentalists and does a good job. The only thing I would add is that if you find this method too odious for you, then you can always look in the mirror and beat yourself with your own fists, scream abuse at yourself, or run full speed into an oak tree. Christianity is not fast enough for some of us who really want to get down and dirty at harming ourselves. It couches the self-harm in terms like ‘giving the glory to the Lord’, ‘putting Jesus first’ and other such suede suicides.

  2. Avatar
    anotherami

    This is pure poison. This is what I internalized from a very brief exposure to a fundamentalist/evangelical Baptist church as a teenager. It made me hate myself, viewing myself as irredeemably fucked up and broken for decades. Even as I know intellectually that it isn’t true, I still struggle emotionally sometimes, in part because of the damage those “teachings” caused in my life. One example, I am basically unemployable, due to too many years out of the work force and my physical condition won’t let me do the work I am qualified for (basically fast food or cashier, but I don’t have the stamina for it). Another way is it made me ask what kind of woman am I if I have 3 (THREE!!!) failed marriages? Clearly, by Lori’s standards, I am a failure not only in my romantic life, but as a “Christian” woman as well and likely going to hell because of it. No wonder depression is rampant among women in the US.

  3. Avatar
    Melody

    “If she can’t have children or she doesn’t get married, the Lord can still use her in powerful ways in the lives of others since we should spend our lives serving others and giving our lives away.”

    This sentiment is so irritating. As a Christian I used to see it as somewhat hopeful, but really it dismisses single people – or child-less couples – so much! If you can’t ….., you can still…. It is clearly far less than the other option, but at least you still have this… You can have the consolation prize of having God plan something else for you.

    I’m trying to think of a comparision that represents her views on the two alternatives that are so clearly not equal in her thinking.

    How about:

    If you can’t go on vacation to a tropical island, at least you can put a huge picture of a tropical island on your wall….

    If you can’t have a minivan, at least you can have a cargo bike…

  4. Avatar
    Troy

    If your wife is smiling like that while she’s doing housework watch out. No doubt she is fantasizing about doing you in.
    Does anybody know what that hair style is called?

  5. Avatar
    Trenton

    Let me guess that lori also submits to her husband like any godly wife, is against abortion, gay marriage, and any polititian with a d in in front of their title. This is nothing but arsenic and old lace and has no place in 21st century america.

  6. Avatar
    Neil

    How come Lori gets to waste time writing a blog? That’s not in God’s plan for women. Neglecting the ironing, washing, darning and mopping to spend time on the devil’s super-highway. I pray for your soul, Lori; Hell surely awaits.

  7. Avatar
    Edward

    “Concerning marriage, the Word says, “She that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34). The Bible says the greatest of all is the servant of all. All Christian women should find a way to serve others and use their gifts to bring the Lord glory.”

    This has to be among the most blatant examples of proof-texting I’ve ever seen. Paul is actually using this sentence as an example of why marriage is not the preferred state for serious believers. Basically, he’s saying that heavenly minded folks shouldn’t be so concerned with marriage because it’s worldly. He then reluctantly concedes, “It is better to marry than to burn.”

    The fact that the author uses this to support self-subjugation by women is both ethically despicable and a perversion of the text. Christians might try reading that Bible of theirs for a change. Of course, change is what they’re so afraid of.

    • Avatar
      Melody

      “Paul is actually using this sentence as an example of why marriage is not the preferred state for serious believers. Basically, he’s saying that heavenly minded folks shouldn’t be so concerned with marriage because it’s worldly. He then reluctantly concedes, “It is better to marry than to burn.”

      Exactly! Both Paul and Jesus have this template of the perfect Christian: a fanatical single man or woman with a sole focus on doing God’s work. They believed the end of the world was at hand and so there was no time nor need for love, sex and procreation. Such a difference with the family-oriented churches nowadays. They often cite the OT with the message that was given to Adam and Eve to have as many kids as possible, but really the NT has quite a different message alltogether.

      Singles don’t have a envy-worthy status in most churches, to say the least, which is interesting, because it would actually be Biblical. As a single woman, I’ve found this puzzling.

      I don’t feel less in any way because I don’t have a partner, but people are quite adement in their attempts to make you feel that way. They think you are sad or pathetic somehow. I, myself, think that some of the unhappy marriages I have seen are definitely not enviable either. Some people do settle with anyone just so they don’t have to be single: I cannot see myself doing that.

      • Avatar
        Brian

        Churches are hurt factories. Everything hate is done in stained glass and song. Paul the Apostle was a man on a road having some hallucinations. These visions helped him learn how to harm others without actually killing them with his hands as he was apparently wont to do in other times. The holy (full of holes) men who shout abuse on the streets or, like Steve Anderson , from the pulpit might resemble Paul in his early days, just before hallucinations overtook him. I think he became more interesting as a man later on but he was never a decent to women; I wonder how many men were halfway decent in those days…
        Belief is a frightening thing to me now but I am happy to know that there are some decent bipeds even in church! What a testament to human tenacity!

        • Avatar
          Melody

          “Churches are hurt factories.”

          I agree. I think it also comes so much from not being allowed to be yourself but having to be some sort of non-existent ideal. No-one can reach it, everyone tries anyway, and in the meantime they hurt each other to at least seem better than the next one. It’s pretty bad.

          If it’s one thing I’ve learnt, and still am learning, is that you don’t have to be perfect. That being yourself is fine and is good enough. That message I didn’t get from church; you were so good that Jesus had to change every bloody aspect of your being to make you actually good. Only the Jesus bit in you made you good, the rest was rotten to the core. No wonder you may end up quite depressed; it’s an horrendous message!

          I saw a part of a documentary of Steve Anderson, that he’s already complained about, by the way. He is one evil shouting homophobe. He just yells and he gets off on telling people what to do and how to live, I bet. I can’t stand people like that; sadly there’s quite a few of them around.

  8. Avatar
    Sam

    Head over to Free Jinger, Lori has a bad habit of editing and deleting comments that either disagree with her, point out her hypocrites, ignorance and/or flat out bullshit. She also is a nasty bitch to her “fans”.

  9. Avatar
    Rebecca

    Here’s what I’m puzzling over, and I mean really, really, puzzling over deeply. How is it that equally sincere committed Christian people can see this so differently.

    I just naturally assume that my dreams and aspirations are also from God. It’s not a matter of choosing one thing over the other. My vocation in the human service field was something I chose, enjoyed and loved, but also a calling and gift from God.

    As the world famous Olympian, Eric Liddel put it years ago regarding his athletic gift and vocation..”When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.”

    If anyone has additional insight into this, I would love to receive it.

  10. Avatar
    Lynn123

    I think Christians see it differently because they are people, and people are different. If a woman is drawn to the idea of homemaking and children, then she’s gonna find stuff in the Bible to back that up. It starts with what she wants to do, then she confirms that that is conveniently what God wants for her also.

    If a woman is drawn toward career, she’ll make a very good case for that idea from the Bible. So both women get to do what they want and also get to feel approved of by God.

    I think it’s probably rare for a woman who’s a great fit for one or the other to truly feel she must sacrifice herself and her talents and go with the other one because she’s convinced that’s what God wants. Sounds pretty miserable, but maybe it’s not always; depends on your attitude I guess.

    I love the quote by Eric Liddel. If you’re lucky enough to figure out what you’re good at and what you love, then you have the great satisfaction of knowing that is your gift to the world. I used to think rich people were doing something wrong. Then I heard a preacher say that if making money is your talent-go for it. Makes sense to me.

    I think this lady-Lori-thinks like I used to think. I thought all families should be alike. It was a very simplistic way of looking at the world. But people are different. Some women love the idea of being a housewife, cooking, homeschooling children, etc., and other women want to be chemists or nurses or doctors or office workers, whatever.

    So the whole idea of “God says women should….”-should be ignored in my opinion. You’ll notice that God never says anything actually; there’s always a person telling you what God says. lol

    • Avatar
      Rebecca

      Good points, Lynn. I definitely think that we all can have a tendency to read our own bias into the Scripture. No one is completely objective in their interpretation of the Bible, IMO.

      I like your last sentence, “There’s always a person telling you what God says.”

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