Four years ago, I wrote a post titled Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Godly Women Don’t Fart, Burp, or Stick Out Their Tongue by Lori Alexander. This series, of course, focuses on the silly, funny, absurd, stupid, and dangerous things Christians say. In the aforementioned post, Lori Alexander wrote:
As many of you know, I have two new granddaughters. One was born in July and the other in August. They are beautiful and fun to watch. We laugh when their little tongues come continually out of their mouths. When they toot, we think it’s funny. When they burp, we all laugh and are happy they got their air out so it won’t cause a tummy ache. All of their noises are so sweet to all of us. However, when grown women are doing these things, they aren’t funny or cute anymore. It is disgusting and they are not being discreet.
Sticking out your tongue for pictures and having tooting and burping contests are common among women today. I hear it directly from them. They think it’s funny. The Bible tells us otherwise: When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11) Even as our children grew older, they never stuck their tongues out or looked like the girl in the picture. We would never have allowed this. They didn’t burp or toot on purpose in front of us either. (I actually never heard them burp since they had healthy gallbladders.) We taught them from a young age to have manners.
Godly women are called to be discreet and not do anything to draw attention to themselves. They are not children anymore and should not do childish things. It’s amazing that I even have to teach younger women this today. When I was growing up, we never did such things. We would have been mortified! If we had to pass gas, we held it until we were alone. (If you have a lot of gas, you need to find out to heal your digestive system and I am sure less sugar and more real foods with probiotics will help.)
I don’t ever remember having a problem with burping….I would have never stuck out my tongue for pictures, ever. When I see women do this, it looks disgusting. Tongues are meant to help us talk and eat to enjoy our food, not show off to other people, especially when they are coated with a thick white film which usually means they eat too much dairy and other unhealthy foods…
Be a godly feminine woman. Show discretion in all that you do and don’t try to gain attention by doing something that is ugly….
— Lori Alexander, Always Learning, Taking Pictures With Tongues Out, September 29, 2016
Today, an Evangelical man from Singapore left the following comment on the Fart/Burping/Sticking Tongue post:
U r so retarded to write such nonsensensical thing. God created us this way. when we eat, drink or even swallow our saliva, air goes in and needs to be out so we will burp many times a day. Ofcourse it can be done quietly. But who cares when we burp with sounds. We chinese burps when ever, where ever, how ever and with who ever we like. This is everyones freedom. You should just stop eating, drinking or even swallow your own saliva and DIE IN HELL. There is no verses in the Bible says that burping and farting is a sin. This is all self created stupid culture. Oh ya farts is definitely different from burps. Your brain is definitely filled with maggots. U r more than childish to write such thing. Please do everyone a favour and tell Lori Alexandra and u yourself should be locked in mental health hospital and don’t be a disgrace to the society. IDIOTS
Instead of recognizing that I only posted what Alexander wrote; that I have a brain, so I don’t agree with her, this man — much like the Evangelical doctrines of substitutionary atonement and justification — projects Alexander’s words on me. He then proceeds to call me retarded, consigns me to Hell, says my brain is filled with maggots, and in no uncertain terms says that I am a disgrace to society, an idiot, and should be locked up in a mental hospital.
Geez, I never realized my Santa Porn photos made it all the way to Singapore. On a more serious note, how do this man’s words reflect on God, Christianity, and his professed faith in Jesus Christ? Not well, not well.
This man is, of course, banned. I hope he said everything the Holy Spirit “led” him to say. He owes me an apology, but I know no such apology will be forthcoming. That’s just not the style of such people.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Adventures in illiteracy.
How many layers of the stupidity of others can you cram into one post?
Geez.
😀
Alexander reminds me of folks who conflate something a character says in a book with its author’s attitudes or feelings. They’re the same bloody fools who want to ban “Huckleberry Finn” because it contains the n-word.
Too bad: He does have a point about how what some people believe to be “Christian” or “godly” have no basis in the Bible and are, in fact, cultural norms—usually, of an earlier generation or a place and time that exist in myth and imagination.
As for Ms. Alexander: What she says a “proper Christian lady” should suppress her bodily functions, she’s no different, really, from those who want to deny women abortions, birth control or simply the right to say “No” to a man. It’s all about shaming a woman for being a woman.
Dude from Singapore: you couldn’t even be bothered to figure out Bruce was quoting someone else? Do you really think being so insulting attracts people to your religion?
Well, Lori can be depended on to dredge up The Stupid whenever she speaks! (I just point out the same old same old, that Christians are intent on ruining natural existence in every way possible so that it ends up at the offering plate. Thank-you Jeeeeebers!
I am so glad that I never have been and have never wanted to be a “proper lady”. It sounds incredibly stifling and boring.
Dude from Singapore – I am not sure how you missed that Bruce was pointing out the absurdity in Lori Alexander’s post. Maybe it’s a language barrier. But you sure do have enough grasp of English to insult people.
thanks for the laugh. this was hilarious. but then i have raised 3 boys so i am used to this. instead of fussing and finding fault, we just laughed and enjoyed our lives. this is the focus of christianity, the rules and regulations, gender roles. glad we found our way out while the boys were young. as for the guy from singapore, maybe he did not understand due to the language barrier.
Holy crap this guy is really serious about his delusions!
He took the trouble to follow my comment to my blog where he found my email address and emailed me about it. Apparently he’s gonna let Lori Alexander know what he thinks, too. The boy is on FYARRRRRR!
That kind of enthusiasm generates triple bypass surgeries later on in life.
He sent me an “I apologize, but” email:
“HI, my apology for mis reading the whole content in a rush. But why do you need to post things that is evil from someone that is not relevant to the society. You should be the one who is a big ASSHOLE!!!! Emphasising on What that BITCH is writing. Instead of posting it in web, why Don’t you send her an email straight like what I did.”
Half-assed apology not accepted, especially after intimating atheists are typically assholes. He also seems unable to understand the purpose of this series; that I routinely ridicule and mock Lori Alexander. Brain tumor or not, she’s a vile person.
What a strange comment from this man from Singapore. To him, I say that I hope he realizes that Lori. Alexander IS a crazy person. She doesn’t help Christianity as causes go. He shouldn’t taker her seriously at all.
The Alexanders are a weird bunch. OK, manners are good. At least in this country, belching is considered rude–which is why eight-year-old boys delight in it; farting is equally rude, and should be avoided if possible; yawning without covering your mouth is in the same category as chewing with your mouth open–nobody needs to see that. Sticking out your tongue is occasionally appropriate, in a joking way. But such things are not generally though of as godly, just polite. You don’t need religion for that.
The guy from Singapore is just an asshole, even in his apology.