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Songs of Sacrilege: Spooky Mormon Hell Dream from The Book of Mormon

book of mormon

This is the one hundred and forty-seventh installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Mormon Spooky Hell Dream from The Book of Mormon.

Video Link

Lyrics

[ELDER PRICE]
Long ago, when I was five
I snuck in the kitchen late at night
And ate a donut with a maple glaze

My father asked who ate the snack
I said that it was my brother Jack
And Jack got grounded for fourteen days

I’ve lived with that guilt
All of my life
And the terrible vision
That I had that night

(spoken)
No! Please, I don’t wanna go back!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Down, down thy soul is cast
From the Earth whenceforth ye fell
The path of fire leads thee to
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

Welcome back to
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
You are having
A Spooky Mormon Hell Dream now

[ELDER PRICE]
And now I’ve gone and done it again!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Rectus!

[ELDER PRICE]
I’ve committed another awful sin!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Dominus!

[ELDER PRICE]
I left my mission companion
All alone

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spookytus!

[ELDER PRICE]
Oh God, how could I have done this to you?

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Deus!

[ELDER PRICE]
How could I break rule seventy-two?

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Creepyus!

[ELDER PRICE]
And now my soul hath just been thrown
Back into Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Down, down to Satan’s realm!
See where you belong!
There is nothing you can do!
No escape from
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!

[JESUS, spoken]
You blamed your brother for eating the donut, and now you walk out on your mission companion? You’re a DICK!

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Jesus, I’m sorry!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Jesus hates you, this we know!
For Jesus just told you so!

[SKELETON 1]
You remember Lucifer!

SKELETON 2]
He is even spookier!

[SATAN]
Minions of Hades
Have you heard the news?
Kevin was caught playing hooky!
Now he’s back
With all you Cath’lics and Jews
It’s super spooky-wooky!

[ELDER PRICE]
I’m sorry, Lord, it was selfish of me
To break the rules, please I
Don’t wanna be in this
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream!
Genghis Khan
Jeffrey Dahmer
Hitler
Johnnie Cochran!
The spirits all surround you
Spooky spooky spooky!

[ADOLPH HITLER]
I started a war, and killed millions of Jews!

[GENGHIS KHAN]
I slaughtered the Chinese!

[JEFFREY DAHMER]
I stabbed a guy and fucked his corpse!

[JOHNNIE COCHRAN]
I got O.J. freed!

[ELDER PRICE]
You think that’s bad?
I broke rule seventy-two!

[HITLER, KHAN, DAHMER, COCHRAN:]
Oh?

[ELDER PRICE]
I left my companion!
I’m way worse than you!
I hate this Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[GENGHIS KHAN]
Ah…..

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Please, Heavenly Father! Give me one more chance! I won’t break the rules again!

(sung)
I can’t believe Jesus called me a dick!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Welcome, welcome
To Spooky Mormon Hell Dream
You are never waking up
From Spooky Mormon Hell Dream

[ELDER PRICE, spoken]
Oh, please help me Father! Please let me wake up!
Give me one more chance! I won’t let you down again!

[MINIONS OF HELL]
Down, down thy soul is cast
From the Earth henceforth ye fell
This must be it, you must be there
You must be in
Spooky Mormon Hell Dream now

Songs of Sacrilege: Baptize Me from The Book of Mormon

book of mormon

This is the one hundred and forty-sixth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Baptize Me from The Book of Mormon.

Video Link

Lyrics

ELDER MCKINLEY:

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Well, then, would you like to baptize me?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Pbbbt, sure, yea, that’d be great

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Okay, let’s do it

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
What you mean…now?

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Why not?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Well, to be honest, I’ve never done it before

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
That’s okay, neither have I

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Yes, that’s true

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Do you know…how to baptize someone into the church?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Sure, that’s something that we study over and over again at Mission Control Center

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Then please, Elder Cunningham, I want to be baptized. I swear to dedicate my life to the church

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Huh, okay, I just need a second to get ready

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
Okay, I will get ready, too

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I’m about to do it for the first time
And I’m gonna do it with a girl!
A special girl
Who makes my heart kind of flutter
Makes my eyes kind of blur
I can’t believe I’m about
To baptize her

[NABULUNGI]
He will baptize me
He will hold me in his arms
And he will baptize me
Right in front of everyone
And it will set me free
When he looks into my eyes
And he sees just how much
I love being baptized

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I’m gonna baptize her

[NABULUNGI]
Baptize me!

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
Bathe her in God’s glory!
And I will baptize her

[NABULUNGI]
I’m ready

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
With everything I got
And I’ll make her beg for more

[NABULUNGI]
Oooh

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
As I wash her free of sin
And it’ll be so good
She’ll want me to

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM and NABULUNGI]
Baptize her/me again

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Excuse me, I’m gonna need another minute!

[NABULUNGI]
Never known a boy so gentle
One like him is hard to find
A special kind
Who makes my heart kind of flutter
Like a moth in a cocoon
I hope he gets to baptizing me soon!

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I’m gonna baptize you
I’m through with all my stalling

[NABULUNGI]
You’re gonna baptize me
I’m ready to let you do it

[BOTH]
And it will set us free
It’s time to be immersed
And I’m so happy you’re
About to be my first

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Okay, you ready?

[NABULUNGI, spoken]
I am ready. So… how do we do it?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM, spoken]
Well, I hold you like this –

[NABULUNGI]
– Yeah?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
And I lower you down –

[NABULUNGI]
– Yeah?

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM:]
And then I –

(Splash)

I just baptized her!
She got doused by Heavenly Father!
I just baptized her good!

[NABULUNGI]
You baptized me!

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I performed like a champ!

[NABULUNGI]
I’m wet with salvation!

[BOTH]
We just went all the way!
Praise be to God
I’ll never forget this day

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I baptized you!

[NABULUNGI]
You baptized me!

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
I gotcha good!

[NABULUNGI]
Baptize me!

[ELDER CUNNINGHAM]
You want it more, baby?

[NABULUNGI]
Baptize me!

(spoken)
I’ll text you later

Songs of Sacrilege: Turn it Off from The Book of Mormon

book of mormon

This is the one hundred and forty-fifth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Turn it Off from The Book of Mormon.

Video Link

Lyrics

ELDER MCKINLEY:
I got a feeling,
That you could be feeling,
A whole lot better then you feel today
You say you got a problem,
well thats no problem,
It’s super easy not to feel that way!

When you start to get confused because of thoughts in your head,
Don’t feel those feelings!
Hold them in instead

Turn it off, like a light switch
just go click!
It’s a cool little Mormon trick!
We do it all the time
When your feeling certain feels that just don’t feel right
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light
and turn em off,
Like a light switch just go bap!
Really whats so hard about that?
Turn it off! (Turn it off!)

When I was young my dad,
Would treat my mom real bad,
every time the Utah Jazz would loose.
He’d start a’ drinking,
and I’d start a thinking,
How am I gonna keep my mom from getting abused?

I’d see her all scared and my soul was dying,
My dad would say to me, Now don’t you dare start crying.

Turn it off, (Like a light switch just go click!)
(It\’s our nifty little Mormon trick!)
Turn it off! (Turn. It. Off!)

My Sister was a dancer, but she got cancer,
My doctor said she still had two months more
I thought she had time, so I got in line
for the new I-phone at the apple store.

She lay there dying with my father and mother
Her very last words were “where is my brother?”

(Turn it off!) Yeah! (Bid those sad feelings a adieu!)
The fear I might get cancer too,

When I was in fifth grade, I had a friend Steve Blade,
He and I were close as two friend could be
One thing led to another, and soon I would discover,
I was having really strange feelings for Steve

I thought about us, on a deserted Island
We’d swim naked in the sea, and then he’d try and…

WOAH! Turn if off, like a light switch,
there its gone! (Good for you!)
My hetero side just won!
I’m all better now,
Boys should be with girls thats heavenly fathers plan
So if you ever feel you rather be with a man,
Turn it off.

ELDER PRICE:
Well Elder McKinley, I think its ok that your having gay thoughts,
just so long as you never act on them.

ELDER MCKINLEY:
No, because then your just keeping it down,
Like a dimmer switch on low, (On low!)
Thinking nobody needs to know! (Uh oh!)

ELDER PRICE:
But that’s not true!

ELDER MCKINLEY:
Being gay is bad, but lying is worse,
So just realize you have a curable curse,
And turn it off! (Turn it off, turn it off!)

(Dance)

Turn it off!

Now how do you feel!

ELDER PRICE:
The same

ELDER MCKINLEY:
Then you only got yourself to blame,
You didn’t pretend hard enough,
Imagine that your brain is made of tiny boxes,
and find the box thats gay and CRUSH IT!
Ok?

ELDER PRICE:
No, no, -I’m- not having gay thoughts

ELDER CUNNINGHAM:
Alright! It worked!

(Yay!)

(Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, Turn it off!)

(Turn it off, turn it off like a light switch just go click click!
What a cool little Mormon Trick! Trick trick!
We do it all the time!)

ELDER MCKINLEY:
When your feeling certain feelings that just dont seem right!
Treat those pesky feelings like a reading light!
Turn it off! (Like a light switch, shut it off!)
(Now he isn’t gay anymore!)

(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it…!)
(Turn it, turn it, turn it, turn it…!)
(Turn it…)

ELDER MCKINLEY: Turn it off!

Songs of Sacrilege: I Believe from The Book of Mormon

book of mormon

This is the one hundred and forty-fourth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is I Believe from The Book of Mormon.

Video Link

Lyrics

Ever since I was a child, I tried to be the best
So what happened?
My family and friends all said I was blessed
So what happened?

It was supposed to be all so exciting
To be teaching of Christ ‘cross the sea
But I allowed my faith to be shaken
Oh, what’s the matter with me?

I’ve always longed to help the needy
To do the things I never dared
This was the time for me to step up
So then why was I so scared?

A warlord who shoots people in the face
What’s so scary about that?
I must trust that my Lord is mightier
And always has my back
Now I must be completely devout
I can’t have even one shred of doubt

I believe that the Lord God created the universe
I believe that he sent his only son to die for my sins
And I believe that ancient Jews built boats
And sailed to America
I am a Mormon and a Mormon just believes

You cannot just believe part-way
You have to believe in it all
My problem was doubting the Lord’s will
Instead of standing tall

I can’t allow myself to have any doubt
It’s time to set my worries free
Time to show the world what Elder Price is about
And share the power inside of me

I believe that God has a plan for all of us
I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet
And I believe that the current President of the Church
Thomas Monson, speaks directly to God
I am a Mormon
And, dang it, a Mormon just believes
(A Mormon just believes)

I know that I must go and do the things my God commands
(Things my God commands)
I realize now why he sent me here
If you ask the Lord in faith, he will always answer you
Just believe in him and have no fear
(General, we have an intruder, He just walked right into camp)

I believe that Satan has a hold of you
I believe that the Lord God has sent me here
And I believe that in 1978
God changed his mind about black people

(Black people)
You can be a Mormon
A Mormon who just believes
(The fuck is this?)

And now I can feel the excitement
This is the moment I was born to do
And I feel so incredible to be sharing my faith with you
The scriptures say that if you ask in faith

If you ask God himself, you’ll know
But you must ask him without any doubt
And let your spirit grow
(Let your spirit grow)

I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob
I believe that Jesus has his own planet as well
And I believe that the Garden of Eden
Was in Jackson County, Missouri

If you believe, the Lord will reveal it
And you’ll know it’s all true, you’ll just feel it
You’ll be a Mormon
And, by gosh, a Mormon just believes
(A Mormon just believes)

(Just believe, a Mormon just believes)
Oh, I believe
(Just believe, a Mormon just)
I believe
(Believes)

Songs of Sacrilege: Where to Now St. Peter? by Elton John

elton john

This is the one hundred and forty-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Where to Now St. Peter? by Elton John.

Video Link

Lyrics

I took myself a blue canoe
And I floated like a leaf
Dazzling, dancing
Half enchanted
In my Merlin sleep

Crazy was the feeling
Restless were my eyes
Insane they took the paddles
My arms they paralyzed

So where to now St. Peter
If it’s true I’m in your hands
I may not be a Christian
But I’ve done all one man can
I understand I’m on the road
Where all that was is gone
So where to now St. Peter
Show me which road I’m on
Which road I’m on

It took a sweet young foreign gun
This lazy life is short
Something for nothing always ending
With a bad report

Dirty was the daybreak
Sudden was the change
In such a silent place as this
Beyond the rifle range

I took myself a blue canoe

 

Black Collar Crime: Catholic Priest Scott Kallal Charged With Sex Crimes

scott kallal

Scott Kallal, assistant pastor of Holy Spirit Catholic Church, Overland Park, Kansas and St. Patrick Catholic Church, Kansas City, Kansas, was charged Friday with “two counts of aggravated indecent liberties with a child.”

KCTV-5 reports:

Authorities say a Catholic priest charged in Wyandotte County with child sex crimes has been arrested in Maryland.

The Wyandotte County prosecutor’s office announced Tuesday that the Rev. Scott Kallal was charged Friday with two counts of aggravated indecent liberties with a child. Online court records show the 35-year-old was arrested Monday in Rockville in Maryland’s Montgomery County.

Prosecutor’s office spokesman Jonathan Carter said he didn’t know whether Kallal had an attorney. No details were provided about the allegations.

The Archdiocese of Kansas City in Kansas announced last week that Kallal was pulled from public ministry duties after two sources accused him of “boundary violations.” The archdiocese said its preliminary investigation “revealed violations of some of the archdiocese’s safe environment guidelines which all clerics, employees and volunteers are asked to observe when interacting with young people.”

The archdiocese said Kallal’s suspension was announced during Masses at Overland Park’s Holy Spirit Church and St. Patrick Church in Kansas City, Kansas. He served at both.

An initial statement from the archdiocese said Kallal “denies any moral misconduct or malicious intent and has agreed to undergo evaluation and counseling.” In a follow-up statement Tuesday, the archdiocese said that it would continue to “cooperate fully” with law enforcement, and that anyone with information about priests, deacons, employees or volunteers engaging in inappropriate conduct should report their concerns.

Fox-4 adds,  in a report that is quite sympathetic to the Catholic Church and its “rare” sexual abuse/misconduct/rape/sexual assault/pedophilia problems:

….

Parishioners at St. Pat’s and Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Overland Park just learned of the allegations the weekend of July 15-16, when it was announced during mass that Fr. Kallal had been relieved of his duties.

While incidents like this are relatively rare, the church says it remains committed to ensuring no child becomes a victim.

The inside of a Catholic Church is often beautiful, and a place where many find comfort. But allegations and criminal charges against church leaders like Fr. Scott Kallal can tarnish its prestige.

“The church is in the business of saving souls and in spiritual life. They’re experts in spirituality. But they’ve brought in experts now and worked together with them to ensure safety of children is a top priority,” said Carrie Cooper, director of the Office of Child and Youth protection for the Kansas City, Mo. Archdiocese.

Cooper’s job was created out of controversy. Nearly six years ago, the Kansas City, Mo. Archdiocese created the Office of Child and Youth Protection after Fr. Shawn Ratigan was sent to prison for child pornography. There is a similar office in KCK, with which Cooper’s office often works.

Cooper says a lot of good changes have happened in recent years to prevent abuse, and to report it, which includes getting police involved right away.

“The civil authorities are the most important. It is their job to sort those things through and do those investigations. So that’s definitely what we want to happen first,” said Cooper.

There are also more intensive background checks for every school and church employee and volunteer. Those individuals also go through intense trainings on child and sexual abuse. That training is also given to kids in parishes and Catholic schools.

“They’re offered training on what is a safe boundary, what is grooming, what is predatory behavior and what do I do to protect myself as a child,” Cooper said.

If anyone breaks a boundary, kids are asked to tell a trusted adult. And if that adult broke the rules, they should keep telling trusted adults until it is taken seriously.

“The goal of all these efforts really is to make sure children are safe. That’s absolutely the most important thing,” Cooper said.

There’s also an independent review board, composed of non-church members who look at every allegation made against someone within the church. The Kansas City, Mo. diocese also has an ombudsmen — a former prosecutor that looks closely at each case.

As for Fr. Kallal, he was said to be attending counseling before his arrest in Maryland. He will be brought back to Kansas within the next few weeks to answer to the charges here.

….

Black Collar Crime: Youth Pastor Ellis Simmons Accused of Sexually Assaulting Two Girls

ellis simmons

Ellis Simmons, former youth pastor of St. Mark African Methodist Episcopal Church and Calvary Baptist Church in Duluth, Minnesota, has been charged with “two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and one count of second-degree criminal sexual conduct.” Simmons previously served five years in prison for sexually abusing other girls.

The Duluth News Tribune reports:

A former youth pastor who recently served five years in Illinois prison for sexually abusing several young girls is now facing similar charges stemming from a stint in Duluth more than a decade ago.

Ellis William Simmons, 38, is accused of assaulting two girls between 1999 and 2005, when he was living and working in Duluth. The girls were 11 and 14 years old at the time of the reported incidents.

Simmons was formally charged last month with two counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct and one count of second-degree criminal sexual conduct. If convicted, the most-serious charges each carry a maximum sentence of 30 years in prison.

While the incidents were reported to police in the early 2000s, St. Louis County prosecutor Jon Holets said the victims only recently came forward with the alleged perpetrator’s name and other information that made charges possible.

“It still bothered them, and they realized what he had done in Illinois,” Holets said Monday. “It was their desire to continue coming forward (that led to charges).”

Simmons served as a pastor to the alleged victims and a babysitter for the family of at least one of the girls, according to a criminal complaint. The charging document indicates that one victim reported two incidents that occurred when she was 11 years old; the other reported an incident when she was 14.

Both alleged victims told police that they were sleeping when they awoke to sexual contact from Simmons, according to the charges. The contact allegedly included penetration.

Simmons served as a pastor at St. Mark African Methodist Episcopal Church and Calvary Baptist Church in Duluth, while also attending the College of St. Scholastica and the University of Minnesota Duluth, according to News Tribune articles from the time.

….

The decision by the alleged victims to provide additional information came around the same time Simmons was being released from prison in Illinois.

He was arrested in January 2012 and charged with sexually abusing three girls ranging in age from 7 to 10, according to a report in the Rockford (Ill.) Register Star. Simmons at the time was working at a juvenile detention center; authorities said the abuse was not related to his employment, but the victims were known to him.

Records indicate that Simmons was released from prison in December after serving nearly five years of a seven-year sentence. He was re-arrested in California after a warrant was issued in the Duluth case on June 19.

Simmons made an initial appearance in State District Court in Duluth last week. His bail was set at $300,000, and he remained in the St. Louis County Jail on Monday.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: “Hell’s Bells: The Dangers of Rock and Roll Music”

hells bells

This is the one hundred and fifty-sixth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of the 1989 Evangelical film, “Hell’s Bells: The Dangers of Rock and Roll Music.”

Wikipedia describes the film this way:

The film examines the relationship of rock music to sex, violence, suicide, drug use, rebellion, miscegenation, the occult, and other activities considered immoral by biblical theology. The film portrays various lyrics and visual imagery in rock music and rock stars as evidence that it is satanic or anti-Christian. It also alleges that perceived hidden messages and satanic backmasking exist in several examples of popular songs and music culture. The music in the documentary is music produced prior to the 1990s.

Video Link

Video Link

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: “Rock: It’s Your Decision”

rock its your decision ad

This is the one hundred and fifty-fifth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section.  Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a video clip of the 1982 Evangelical film, “Rock: It’s Your Decision.”

Rational WIKI describes the film this way:

Jeff Sims is a teenage Christian in conflict with his parents over his love for rock music. His mother has him see his local youth pastor and has him placed under contract to give up rock music for two weeks, and research whether or not it’s good for him as a Christian. Jeff takes him up on his deal, and within a week he becomes increasingly fanatical and ends up alienating everyone in sight. The film ends with him giving a sermon about what he has “researched” about rock music, giving a list of several songs and bands and why they are “satanic” and “occultic”, and that they are promoting sinful vices such as premarital sex, drug abuse, and even goes as far as to spring forth his homophobic views in connection with the music by saying that “some of them are admitted homosexuals”. He then shatters a record against the podium and declares, “I’ve made my decision, what’s yours?”

….

Jeff Sims is the designated “hero” of this piece of propaganda, but by today’s standards (even by 1982’s standards) many interpret Jeff’s story as less of a movement against sin, and more about the tragic tale of a boy twisted by the controlling fundamentalists (his parents and youth pastor) in his life who ends up turning into a bigoted, hateful, religious fundamentalist jackass whose perceptions on life are heavily warped, and ultimately ends up driving away everyone who cared about him. When he does disown rock music from his life, he tries to force everyone around him to do the same and dumps his friends for listening to the genre. Even when he yells at his own mother for watching soap operas thinking they are evil, the movie still wants you to root for this guy. Alternately, since fundamentalist religion obliges people to be less tolerant of beliefs unlike their own, then Jeff, from a fundamentalist perspective, doesn’t become a jackass at all, but a wide-eyed idealist and his insistence on forcing his views on other people isn’t twisted or inappropriate behavior, but rather Jeff trying to warn his loved ones about the impending traps that will send them to hell. Some viewers (like the Agony Booth reviewer) have even interpreted Jeff as being a deeply closeted homosexual. The audience is meant to see his close friends, Marty and Melissa, as antagonists trying to tempt Jeff back into his old ways, but they make some valid points about him becoming fanatical as he repeatedly tries to push his new lifestyle choices on them and others. Melissa seems pretty justified in being angry with Jeff for canceling his plans to go to a rock concert with her (plans made three months in advance for her birthday) because of a deal with his youth pastor he made only recently. Threatening to take another guy to the concert may seem a bit harsh, but she does apologize for it later. Later, Jeff gets angry with Marty for playing rock music at a party he was hosting in his own house. Yet we’re expected to take Jeff’s side earlier when he refuses to let Melissa listen to a rock station when he’s giving her a ride in his car.

Video Link

HT: Christian Nightmares

Black Collar Crime: Episcopal Priest William Rian Adams Arrested Over Road Rage Incident

william rian adams

Williams Rian Adams, pastor of Calvary Episcopal Church in Fletcher, North Carolina, was arrested last Wednesday and charged with “two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.”

The Charlotte Observer reports:

A 150-year-old church in the Fletcher community west of Charlotte was without a priest last week, after he was arrested in Florida for allegedly pointing a gun at another motorist during a road rage incident.

Episcopal priest William Rian Adams, 35, is facing two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon for pointing the weapon at two people in a pickup truck late Wednesday on the Florida Turnpike near Palm City, reported the Palm Beach Post.

….

The Florida Highway Patrol said Adams was driving a red Chevrolet Corvette when he attempted to brake check a Chevrolet Silverado pickup that he said was closely following his vehicle, reported the Palm Beach Post.

The driver of the pickup attempted to go around Adams’ vehicle, prompting Adams to allegedly point a Glock 22 at the pickup, reported the web site ChristianToday.com.

Adams told investigators that the pickup drew alongside him and the passenger screamed at him and threw a soda at his car, reported ChristianToday. He was arrested under a $15,000 bond, according to a web site for the Martin County jail. Adams listed the church as his employer, according to the jail records.

The Palm Beach Post reported a 24-year-old man and a 54-year-old woman from St. Cloud, Florida, were in the pickup truck.

Adams confirmed to troopers that he had a weapon, but said the gun was not loaded and had been kept under his passenger seat the entire time, reported the Asheville Citizens Times.