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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Women Wearing Bathing Suits Cause Men to Lust Says Lori Alexander

comment on the transformed wife

Unfortunately, nudity has come to the beaches, lakes, and pools of America and we shouldn’t be surprised. Many women don’t seem to have any problem with men of all ages lusting after them and seeing them as objects. God commands that we be modest and shamefaced, not drawing attention to ourselves, but as we, as a culture, grow farther away from God’s principles, we can see that women have no shame with being naked.

On our walks on the beach, I have seen a troubling trend; more and more women are wearing thong bathing suits and when they are laying on a towel or are seen from the backside, they look naked. Is there NO concern for children these days??? Where has common human decency gone? Do all these women care about is themselves, their ego, and what they want to wear?

Yes, these women are absolutely 100% being stumbling blocks to all of the men around them. I read what others write against me for saying this as if women are completely innocent concerning men’s lust but they aren’t! We are called to love others and be unselfish but when women are wearing thongs they are only loving themselves and being selfish. They aren’t thinking at all of the effect they are having on the young to old men around them and the children who are seeing their nakedness.

Aren’t their laws against nudity in our land? Shouldn’t there be beaches that are “family friendly” and we don’t have to see naked women all around us? Yes, I know that bikinis have been around a long time but at least they covered up the most private parts of the female body even though they are still extremely immodest. When women are actually showing off their entire backside, they have become naked which is continually associated with shame all throughout the Bible.

The majority of women desire men and their attention. I remember when I was 16 or 17 years old and deeply wanting a young man in my life. I wanted the strength, love, affection, protection, and attention of a man. I believe it’s a normal desire that God has given to us after puberty. Our culture uses this desire in a twisted way called serial dating. We want the attention and love of a man so we try different men out since we’re “way too young” to be married even though our bodies tell us otherwise. We show off our bodies in hopes of attracting men to us to fulfill the longing we have for a man then do things that should only be saved for the marriage bed unless we’ve been taught otherwise. We pretend marriage.

Many young people get into a lot of sexual trouble during these years because of this trend of putting off marriage for so many years after puberty. Most parents aren’t teaching their children about modesty, waiting for a godly man in God’s timing, purity, abstinence, and all the things that God requires from us who want to live lives pleasing to Him. It’s imperative, mothers, to teach your children from a young age the goodness of God and His ways!

— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Nudity on Our Beaches, October 12, 2017


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    “Many young people get into a lot of sexual trouble during these years because of this trend of putting off marriage for so many years after puberty.” Really? The first person to suggest sex to me was my boyfriend from church when we were both 15. I dressed VERY modestly at the time. I was shocked and turned him down, but I pretty much realized that adolescent boys have sex on the mind all the time, regardless of what girls/women are wearing.
    And yes – let’s get police on the beach sending people home if their swimsuits don’t pass inspection!! That’s a dandy idea!
    It seems so obvious I feel stupid saying it, but maybe Lori needs to stay away from the water instead of being offended by everyone’s lack of attire.

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    Pretty sure my husband isn’t lusting for the ladies in their swim suits at the senior swimming pool. And fairly certain that the old fellas aren’t lusting after me. Maybe I’ll wink at them?

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      Bruce Gerencser

      Polly and I went out to an upscale restaurant for her birthday. The clientele was, for the most part, white collar middle aged and older adults. No cell phones, everyone was talking to their dinner companions. In walks a slender tall woman wearing three inch heels, a dress so tight she hard a hard time exhaling, and more of her breasts were outside of the dress than inside. She towered over her man, a sight to behold. She certainly got my attention, and I noticed she similarly affected other men in the restaurant too. Was I overcome with uncontrollable lust? Nope. I thought, nice, and then went back to talking with my date. I was in complete control of my sexuality.

      One of the biggest freedoms I’ve enjoyed since deconverting is the ability to “look” without feeling guilty. It is normal to look. I’ve learned from my wife that women do the same. Look, but don’t leer, harass, or touch. Know your boundaries. Act appropriately. Why are these basic behavioral cues lost when religion is involved. All of a sudden, men become helpless and are in need of deliverance. Bullshit. Man up and own your behavior.

      I’m at the place in life where younger women freely talk to me. I suspect it’s my grandfather/Santa look. ? They don’t view me as a threat. I want to act in ways that rewards that trust. Not too far in the future, my granddaughters will be adults. I want them to be treated with respect. Part of my duty as a man/father/grandfather is to model to them what that respect looks like. That and teaching them how to kick a man in the balls if he harasses them. ?

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    In some countries in Europe and in Australia, women have gone topless on public beaches for decades and no one bats an eyelid. I remember a favourite old film – probably typical of many – that had some sex scenes shot twice, once for Europe with bare thighs and breasts and once for the US where they were under the sheets! 150 yrs ago, Lori would have been protesting that, shock horror, some modernists were allowing the legs of their pianofortes to remain undraped and thus inflame uncontrollable male passions.

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    Always comments from the fundamentalist religious crowd about the way WOMEN dress. What about shirtless men? It’s offensive that these fundamentalist religions propogate the notion that only men are aroused by scantily clad women, and the assumption that they are therefore going to act on that arousal. I’m a heterosexual woman, and I admit that I’ve been attracted to a lot of handsome, shirtless men in my time. Do I act on that? NO. Because I am a responsible adult.

    My grandfather, a WWII combat veteran who was also deeply involved in his fundamentalist Christian church, wisely told me once that men will look at an attractive woman. Period. It’s how humans are – the survival of our species sets us up to be attracted for procreation. He said that yes, a scantily clad woman will get his attention, and he will think, wow, she’s attactive. He said that a very modestly dressed woman is also sexy in a different way – a man will spend his time thinking, I wonder what’s going on under that modest dress. Then he said that the problem is when someone acts on their attraction without permission. Then he proceeded to teach me self-defense methods.

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      Good on your grandfather. 🙂 I think it’s also worth noting that even in countries and cultures where women dress very modestly*, sexual assault is a huge problem, perhaps an even bigger problem than it is in the U.S. and Europe. The problem is not women and what they do (or don’t wear); the problem is men, period. Especially men who are sexually repressed, ignorant, and immature, and raised in religions and cultures that teach them that women are not human beings, but are little more than property to be used and abused by men.

      *I have had Christians tell me that the problem in places like India and the Middle East–where rape is a huge problem despite modest dress–is that people in those countries don’t “know Jesus.” To which I like to point out the experiences of a friend of mine who worked for several years as a midwife in a very modest, very conservative, very religious Amish/Mennonite community in Manitoba. She told me that a month rarely went by that she didn’t have to treat a woman or young girl who had obviously been sexually assaulted, despite the fact that women in the community dressed like it was the 1890s instead of the 1990s. (And good luck getting anyone in the community to report the assaults to the authorities except in the most egregious cases, like the 12-year-old impregnated by her own brother, but that’s another story…) So tell me again how modest dress and Jesus protect women, exactly? Spoiler alert: They don’t do a damned thing.

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    I read a tweet – wish I could remember exactly what was said…

    The point though was how the myth of men not being able to help themselves with scantily clad ladies is busted when Lesbians are presented with the same scene and ‘somehow’ manage to restrain themselves.

    Perhaps the Evangelical men need to be taught manners and how to respect boundaries when they are young and then they won’t have an issue with what a woman wears. After all, it’s not the actual clothes but the men’s imagination that is causing the trouble. Discipline. Sounds like Evangelical men and boys like dishing it out but have no understanding of what the word means.

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