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Christians Say the Darnedest Things: Men Want Debt-Free, Tattoo-Free Virgins

lori alexander

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity.

There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.

— lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos, July 16, 2018

A supporter of Alexander’s had this to say:

“Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.”

“If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.”

“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.”

“They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.”

“They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.”

“The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.”

“It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.”


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    Ah, but what if it’s a x-tian tattoo? Just think what a witness that could be. My friend’s teenage DDs tried that on her as a really good reason for getting one. My 3 DDs got put off the idea when, aged 15,one went to work in a Care Home at weekends. She reported back that when she bathed some elderly sailors (it was mainly sailors who got tattoos back then) they now had leaky ‘blobs’ on their very wrinkled bodies, ‘Eww’ she said and the idea was dropped. There are probably some wacky fundies out there knowing that god will ‘use’ their John 3v16-inscribed arms to convert someone, or many someones!

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    I feel very sad for the women and girls in Lori A’s family. It’s just one long list of what women/girls mustn’t do. And what they can do basically boils down to: stay at home, don’t have any ambitions, don’t develop any interests that can’t obviously benefit your menfolk. And whatever is going on in your home, don’t you DARE get divorced!

    Can’t decide whether she is hopelessly naive about life (for whatever reason or reasons) or whether she knows quite well about domestic violence, child abuse, etc and totally doesn’t care and is actually vindicative (for whatever reason or reasons). I’d love to hear the views of a psychologist.

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    Oh dear, let’s all wring our little handsies over all the women waiting money on education! Satan is on the prowl making sure fewer Christian babies are born! The horror!

    The vast majority of my millennial coworkers, both male and female, have at least one tattoo. It is a thing in that generation.

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    Dr. R

    I suppose I got lucky (scratch that, I KNOW I got lucky) when I married my wife. She was debt-free, had no tattoos, and was a virgin (as was I on all points). What Alexander et al. would not appreciate is that she also had two masters degrees and a professional certification, and didn’t give three figs for religious extremism!

    We both find tattoos, debt, premarital relations, and religious fundamentalism to be big turn-offs. She and I both decided we wanted to save certain things until we got married. Our first kiss was at our wedding, if you can believe that of two Generation Xers.

    The important thing is that it was OUR mutual decision, made for practical reasons and legitimate personal preference rather than imposed on us by a bunch of theocrats.

    So, yes, unicorns do exist. But I think I may have snagged the last one!

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    T Reynolds

    Bruce you are more of a man than I if you can read this shit over and again! I don’t know which is worse: someone who writes that women should submit to the man (including being taught by him how to live correctly, apparently!), or a woman who believes this! My brother in law refers to my sister as his “warrior bride” (yes, I am repulsed by the bellicose mentality). I have said to my wife how ridiculous I think this is. I also sd that I want to post a pic of her on fb, in it she will hold a sword I own and the caption will read, “my shield maiden”. I don’t know, maybe the cynicism would be lost…

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    This lady really infuriates me, especially since I am the father of 4 extremely motivated and successful daughters. I posted a reply over there to her article. Her sight is moderated so we’ll see if it gets through and she offers some answers, but here is what I wrote in case it doesn’t:

    I’m just wondering how you feel about women who may have had tattoos and also an active sex life outside of marriage – can they be forgiven and make good wives? Should they be considered poorer marriage material by Christian men?
    You see, my wife was a recovering meth addict with a crazy sex life and she also had tattoos. We’ve been married 28 years now. Suffice it to say God has incredibly blessed our marriage and given us a wonderful family. My wife works at District Court, our oldest daughter is a college educator, the next oldest is a patient advocate at a hospital, and then the next oldest daughter is a Sheriff’s Deputy. Our youngest is only 12 right now. All of these women are God-honoring, faithful, family oriented women. However, the way I continue to read your articles it seems that you would look at them as shameless, liberated hussies. Coincidentally, I am a pastor as well so I am assuming that means I have failed miserably in my faith life?

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      Randy, I have left comments on Lori A’s site a couple of times, both responses to her appalling rejection of divorce in ALL cases and her insistence that if a wife stays meekly with her abusive husband, the husband will eventually come to the Lord and all will be okay. That’s pretty much the advice my own mother was given by various priests about her marriage to my father. My mother stayed, my dad remained abusive, twisted and totally unrepentant (he’s dead now). . .and my siblings and I all live with the legacy of having grown up in such a poisonous environment.

      I have pointed all this out to Lori, emphasizing that the story of my family is far from unique. It’s quite clear that she only posts up comments that agree with her. Deep down, I think she must be very insecure if she can only bear to see gushing endorsements of her own twisted view. She appears totally incapable of grasping what real life is like. There is EVIDENCE that abuse in marriages damages children. There is EVIDENCE that people who have pre-marital relations can still be good people (!). But she doesn’t want that. Her arrogance and sanctimony are off the scale.

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    Lori Alexander is as a good friend of mine says a freeze dried whackaloon. This summer she has exceeded her 15 minutes of outside fame.
    That commenter is obviously a SAHM and probably was a SAHD.

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      Bruce Gerencser

      Alexander was whining today about all the publicity her post received:

      “As many of you know, my post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos went viral and is causing quite a stir. I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” I want to make clear that the audience I teach are those young women who want to learn biblical womanhood as according to God’s instructions in Titus 2:3-5. They love the Lord and His beautiful ways.

      I have received almost 90,000 comments on this post on Facebook so far and most of them hate it. (I have thousands of comments on my blog awaiting moderation for this post, so I won’t be publishing any comments on my blog for a while.) To all of you who are believers in Jesus Christ who have debt and have not kept yourself pure, remember that God has made you a new creation in Christ, washed away all of your sin, and now you walk in newness of life!”

      I am very glad to play a significant part in her unwanted publicity. ?

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    her writings do cause a person to wonder if she has some type of a psych problem that needs to be addressed. there is a snark site that keeps up w/her writings, and she does appear to lack any compassion or empathy toward anyone or anything that does not fit in her biblical mold.

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      There’s definitely a lack of empathy there, and an apparent enjoyment of putting in the boot. But if it IS a psych problem, it is one that authoritarian and patriarchal religions actively encourage and promote as virtue. My RC mother is very similar: never criticizes men (whatever they have done), yet criticizes women for every little thing. If a man cheats, or develops an addiction, or abuses a child, somehow it is always the responsibility of the woman. (It’s desperately sad in my mother’s case because my father behaved awfully towards her; she still talks about him as if he were some saintly person!)

      Chicken or egg? Did these women get these horrendous attitudes from religion? Or did they get attracted to the religion because they already had these horrendous attitudes? Don’t know about Lori but my mother is a convert.

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    Lydia Joy

    On her Facebook page,Lori also has comments that disagree with her deleted and those that post them blocked. I know this because it happened to me once I shared the hashtags “Me Too” and “Church Too” since I’m a sexual abuse survivor. The same was true for others that called out her opinions that breed an environment for abuse. It’s hurtful teachings like hers that cause so much damage.

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    Samantha Fields’ post is spot on. Once one has eaten from the tree of knowledge (so to speak), there is no going back to being a dependent, ignorant, submissive little wifey.

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Bruce Gerencser