I am increasingly convinced that Christian Fundamentalist Lori Alexander’s blog is actually operated by her patriarchal husband, Ken. “Lori” says stuff that no rational, thinking, self-aware woman would say. This fact makes me wonder if Ken is the person behind the scenes making the puppet’s mouth move. It is possible, of course, that Lori is so deeply indoctrinated in Christian patriarchal thinking that she has lost all sense of self; that all that matters to her is pleasing Ken (and Jesus).
While people are free to live any way they want, Lori attempts through her blog to convince women that her way of life is the way all female True Believers® should live. Want to be a Jesus-loving, husband-pleasing wife? Lori asks, practice what I preach!
Today, Lori wrote a post titled, Becoming Attractive to Your Husband. Consisting of thirty points, Lori’s sermon could easily have been titled “You Don’t Matter.” Here’s an excerpt from Lori’s post. Notice that the goal is to make yourself attractive to your husband so he will want you and pay attention to you:
1. Pay attention to what makes him moody.
2. Don’t get upset when he shuts you down.
3. Publicly embarrass him with compliments.
4. Look up and smile at him when he enters the room.
5. Make his life more restful by not arguing with him and needing to have the last word.
6. Love God more than you love him.
7. Learn to disagree without being mean and having to be right.
8. Learn to be kind, gentle, and feminine.
9. Explore with him how to increase his sexual pleasure and yours.
10. Make sure your bedroom is not cluttered but an inviting place of rest and privacy.
11. Live wisely and contentedly within his income.
12. Keep your body in the best shape that you can.
13. Listen to him when he speaks and pay attention to his desires.
14. Don’t dress or look like a bum even around the house.
15. Give him a back and neck rub.
16. Hug him and kiss him like you’re his dream, and he’s your man.
17. Go on dates together if at all possible.
18.Learn self-discipline and have a servant’s heart.
19. Be submissive to his leadership.
20. Quit soap operas, junky TV shows, and literature porn.
21. Learn to be a good homemaker in all areas.
22. Be loyal to him always, especially with your words around your parents and girlfriends.
23. Take responsibility for your attitudes and behaviors.
24. Be caring and compassionate.
25. Say “thank you” often for all he does for you.
26. Make him believe he’s the best man for you, ever.
27. Turn off your phone, Facebook, and Instagram when he is around.
28. Wear your hair and clothes the way he likes.
29. Become the woman he WANTS to have sex with instead of the woman he HAS to have sex with.
30. Make it easy for your husband to obey this verse: Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. Proverbs 5:18,19
Lori, by the way, closed this post to comments. I wonder why?
Did you notice the points about physical attraction and sex? Sure sounds like a Fundamentalist man talking. 🙂
Bruce Gerencser, 63, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 42 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen awesome grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist. For more information about Bruce, please read the About page.
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