Life is like a spinning plate. In normal circumstances, the plate as it spins is balanced and in control. Occasionally, the plate will become overloaded or unbalanced, but with time will balance itself out, and life will continue along with little to no spillage from the plate.
For people battling chronic illness and pain, their spinning plate is dissimilar to that of many people. Thanks to struggles with pervasive illnesses and unrelenting pain, their plates are already full, spinning wobbly, sending the contents of the plate every which way, and, sometimes, propelling the plate into the wall or floor. Daily, small things are added to the plate, causing further imbalance. The plate owner struggles to keep the plate spinning without crashing. Sometimes he succeeds, sometimes he doesn’t. And when he fails, he makes a mess for all to see, often leading to despair.
For me personally, it is the small things in life that often fuel my depression. I can handle big things, and big decisions. It is the small things that pile up on my plate, leading me to deep, dark — at times suicidal — times in my life; moments when I just want to die. Those are times when narcotic pain medications don’t work effectively or eating food of any type makes me sick or leads to vomiting. Last night, I spent the night into the morning hours in the bathroom — sixteen visits in all. Loose bowels and lack of sphincter muscle control . . . shitty bed, shitty clothes, shitty floors, shitty, shitty, shit everywhere. An accumulation of small things that left me in despair, not wanting to live another day. Fortunately, after dropping eight pounds in less than a day, things have returned to normal — whatever the hell “normal” means.
Every day, the small things change, but their effect on my life is the same, threatening to spin my life’s plate out of control. My therapist and I often talk about small things and how they affect my life. The goal, of course, is to lessen the number of small things in my life; to lessen the small things piling up on my plate. That’s easier said than done. When your bowels say shit, you shit. When your stomach says vomit, you vomit. When your legs and spine leave you writhing in pain, you writhe in pain. Contrary to what the positive mental attitude (PMA) prophets might say, some things are beyond our control. There’s little I can do to change how my body responds to food or nerve and joint pain. I can take medications or use mental techniques to redirect my pain, but there are times when nothing I do works. All I know to do is grit my teeth and hold on, hoping that my suffering will lessen. There’s no healing or deliverance on the horizon. All I can do is endure . . . until I no longer can do so.
I wish I had the luxury of sitting back and enjoying life, but when you have chronic health problems, you have no time to waste on the “good life.” I am at the place in life where I have tied a knot at the end of the rope, and I am hanging on for dear life. I love Polly; I love my children and their spouses; I love my grandchildren; I love my siblings. I live for them. I still have writing I want to do; and a book to finish. I still want to get my house in order, so that when the day comes that my plate comes crashing to the floor one last time, Polly won’t be left with a mess. As it stands now, if I died today, my demise would leave the love of my life in a difficult spot. She deserves better, and so do my children and grandchildren.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Recently, an Evangelical woman named Kelly Benson left the following comment on the post titled, An Open Letter to Pastor Tom Hauser, Global River Church (written by my friend Suzanne). I have edited Benson’s comment due to her lack of proper spelling and punctuation use:
I’m a member of Global River church. I’m not going to blast you for putting this up. It’s how you feel and your experiences. I don’t know [the] full detail of what happened, but I can tell you it’s not like that now. I don’t know how it was then, I know, speaking from personal experience, I have been set [free] from [demonic] oppression by Global River Church. This is what [I’ll] say: that my God, your God, my Jesus, and your Jesus, are a God of second and third [or so] chances. They [God? The Church?] don’t give up on you, and maybe this experience [of yours] had to happen to you to make you see [that] he [Suzanne’s husband, Jim] needed a doctor. Maybe, I don’t know. I just know we are no longer [affiliated with] the Vineyard [denomination]. We have come a long way from [where?] we are now. [We] always have been God fearing and God loving, and whatever your experience, I hope you get to see God in his true light and majesty. [If you do,] you will never go back. It [God’s love] is the most amazing love there is. God bless you always, and I hope you’re in his love now.
I will leave it to Suzanne to respond to Benson’s statements about Global River Church. I want to focus on several claims Benson makes about God, Jesus, and second/third chances.
First, Benson assumes that her God and Suzanne’s God are one and the same; that her God is the one true and living God. However, as anyone who has studied Christianity in general and Evangelicalism in particular, I know Christians worship a plethora of deities. Ask a group of Evangelicals to define and describe “God” and you will end up with numerous answers. The Bible says that there is one Lord, one Faith, and one Baptism, but a close examination of Evangelicalism reveals many Lords, many Faiths, and many Baptisms. Benson does what many Christians do. She assumes that her personal beliefs and experiences apply to everyone.
Benson claims that if you see God in his true light and majesty you will never go back. Yet, countless readers of this blog testify that they have seen God in his true light and majesty, yet they came to a place in their lives where they realized that the God whom they thought they saw and experienced was a myth. People can and do walk away from Christianity. Pastors, evangelists, deacons, missionaries, Sunday school teachers, Christian school teachers, Christian college professors, and other people whose lives were wholly committed to following Jesus are now unbelievers today. As studies continue to show, Evangelicalism is bleeding adherents left and right. Instead of spouting cheap cliches, Benson might want to focus on why so many devoted followers of Jesus are exiting the church stage left.
I want to focus in conclusion on Benson’s claim that God is a God of second and third chances. This is a claim often made by Christians, but is it true?
Benson presupposes the existence of her peculiar version of God, and that her God gives people second and third chances when they break his law or disobey him. There’s no possible way for her to know whether this claim of hers is true. By faith, she believes that it is, but it is impossible for her to know for sure.
If we go to the Biblical text, we can find numerous instances where God did not give people second or third chances. Take Judas. Did God give him a second chance? No. Or Uzzah — the man who steadied the Ark of the Covenant with his hand and God struck him dead for touching the Ark? Or Ananias and Sapphira? Both of them told a lie before the church about the sale of property, and God struck them dead on the spot. In Genesis 1-3, we find Adam and Eve breaking the law of God by eating fruit from the tree of knowledge. Did God give them (or the human race) a second chance? No. Did God give Lucifer and his fellow angels who rebelled against him and were cast out of Heaven a second chance? No.
I could go on and on with illustrations from the inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God, proving that Benson’s deity is as Richard Dawkins suggests:
The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.
And if someone suggests that they worship Jesus or the God of the New Testament, may I remind them that Jesus is God, and that he is the same yesterday, today, and forever; that the book of Revelation records the violence, carnage, and bloodshed Jesus will one day pour out on billions of people — many of whom never had a first chance, let alone a second chance.
Benson and her fellow church members are likely decent people who grant others second and third chances. However, the God they worship is not.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Evangelicals want everyone to believe that they worship Jesus; not just any Jesus, either. Their Jesus is the one and only Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Their Jesus is special and unique, unlike the Jesus worshiped by Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Roman Catholics, or revered by Muslims and other non-Evangelical sects.
Both songs reference Jesus, yet the Jesus of Sovereign Grace Music, and that of Bill and Gloria Gaither are very different from one another. Sovereign Grace is Calvinistic, whereas the Gaithers belong to an Arminian sect. The Jesus of the Calvinists and the Jesus of the Arminians are two very different Sons of God. Oh, outwardly they appear the same, but doctrinally they are very different. Mere semantics? I think not. Evangelical sects build complex systems of theology around their peculiar versions of Jesus. These beliefs can’t help but color how believers view the Savior of the world (to the Gaithers) or the Savior of the elect (to the Calvinists). And it’s not just Evangelicals who do this. Liberal/progressive Christians have a very different Jesus from that of Independent Fundamentalist Baptists (IFB). Which Jesus is the right one? How could we possibly know who possesses the Jesus who alone can save us from our sins?
Worse yet, individual churches, pastors, and congregants shape and mold Jesus into their own version of the Son of God. Instead of there being one Jesus for all, there are countless Jesuses, each eerily looking like their creators.
The next time you have a discussion with an Evangelical who is preaching “Jesus” to you, perhaps it would be interesting for you to ask them “which” Jesus? Ask them how their Jesus compares to the one found within the pages of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Any cursory reading of the Bible reveals that whomever and whatever the Jesus of the gospels might have been, he bears little resemblance to the Jesuses of today. And that’s okay. Is that not the power of religion; its ability to adapt, change, and transform over time? All I want is for Evangelicals to admit, in particular, that Jesus is NOT the same yesterday, today, and forever; that he is a chameleon of sorts.
I find it amusing when Evangelicals attempt to assert that their Jesus alone is the “right” Jesus, and that all other Jesuses are false. Take our Fundamentalist friend Spaniard VIII. In a post titled, Satan Is After You To Destroy You, Sp8 gives “examples of a false Jesus Christ that comes from the teachings of demons through false religions.”
Sp8 believes that he worships the one true Jesus. He even gives a checklist for readers to follow to determine if they are worshiping a demonic Jesus, Do you believe that (my answers in parentheses):
Jesus is not God (yes)
Jesus didn’t die on the cross (no)
Jesus didn’t rise from the dead (yes)
Jesus wasn’t perfect (yes)
Jesus was not born from a virgin (yes)
Jesus was not the Son of God (yes)
Jesus is not the only way to Heaven (yes)
Jesus is another god apart from the Father (yes)
A denial of the Trinity, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit all three being Yahweh (yes)
Oh my God! I just learned that I believe in a false Jesus! I have been deceived by Satanic forces out to send me to the Lake of Fire for eternity. Hey, I did answer the question “Jesus didn’t die on the cross” correctly. I am of the opinion that we have sufficient historical evidence for the execution of Jesus on a Roman cross (and, no, I don’t want to debate this issue). This claim makes rational sense to me. However, the rest of Sp8’s assertions are faith claims. Sp8 just wants us to take his word for it that he worships the right Jesus. Doubt this naked assertion of his? Burn in Hell!
There’s no such thing as a monolithic Jesus. Two thousand years of Christian church history, along with the establishment and proliferation of thousands of contradictory Christian sects, have birthed countless Westworld-like Jesuses, each programmed to look, believe, and act like their creators.
Which Jesus, if any, do you worship?
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
I grew up in Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) churches in the 1960s and 1970s. I later attended an IFB college — Midwestern Baptist College in Pontiac, Michigan. Next to evangelizing the lost, preaching against “sin,” and trumpeting the soon return of Jesus, IFB preachers love to talk about cults.
The IFB church movement generally believes themselves to be God’s true church. Some preachers — called Landmark Baptists or Baptists Briders — believed they could, much like Roman Catholics, trace their church’s lineage back to Jesus and the New Testament. While most IFB preachers will grudgingly admit that some other Christian sects include True Christians®, many non-IFB groups are labeled cults. Seventh Day Adventists? Roman Catholics? Mormons? Church of Christ? Charismatics? Pentecostals? Jehovah’s Witnesses? Calvinists? Cults, the lot of them.
As an IFB pastor, I thought it important to teach church members about the teachings of cults. Sunday School was a perfect place to introduce teaching about cults. Congregants loved learning about cults. After all, learning about the heretical beliefs of cults only reinforced the notion that their pastor and church had the “right” beliefs. What was never considered was the fact that Christianity itself is a cult, as is the IFB church movement.
My teaching presupposed that my interpretation and understanding of the Bible were equivalent to the faith once delivered to the saints. Thus, it was easy to “prove” that certain sects were cults. Just compare their beliefs to mine. See! There’s all the evidence you need to prove that baby-baptizing, Virgin-Mary-worshiping Catholicism is a cult. That’s why I could go to a town of 1,600 people that had two Catholic churches, a Methodist Church, a Lutheran Church, and a Church of Christ, and start a new church — a true New Testament Baptist congregation. I was convinced that I knew the truth, and I was duty-bound to deliver the residents of Somerset and Perry County of the hold cults had on their souls. Especially those fish-eaters.
People raised in IFB churches have likely read or heard of Walter Martin’s seminal work, The Kingdom of the Cults. This book takes a prominent place on the bookshelves of many IFB preachers. It was a necessary tool in the raging war against cults. Ironically, Martin did not believe the Seventh Day Adventist Church was a cult.
Two stories come to mind from my days as a cult-busting preacher. One year, I had been teaching on Mormonism. During the class, a visitor stood up and challenged what I was teaching. Unbeknownst to me, this man had gotten wind of my teaching and decided to visit our church so he could put in a good word for Mormonism. Needless to say, his attempt to set me straight didn’t go well. My retort was simple, THE BIBLE SAYS! That was always my answer when my preaching or teaching was challenged.
Later in my ministry, as pastor of Our Father’s House in West Unity, Ohio, a Seventh-Day Adventist man and wife attended our church. They were friends with a couple who periodically attended Our Father’s House. By this time, I was much more open-minded towards other sects. In fact, the front doors of our church building said, “The Church Where the Only Label that Matters is Christian.” I was friends with the local Church of Christ preacher, and a member of the local ministerial group — a cardinal sin back in my IFB days.
I believed, at the time, that this Seventh-Day Adventist couple genuinely wanted “Christian fellowship.” One Sunday evening, I learned differently. I don’t remember what I had preached on that night, but afterward, as was my custom at that time, I asked if there were any questions? The Seventh-Day Adventist man stood up and started condemning my preaching. I was shocked by his behavior. I told him that he was wrong to assume that we believed what we did out of ignorance. We went back and forth for a few moments, and then I put an end to our “discussion.” This couple never came back. I suspect that they were there to infiltrate and evangelize instead of to bond over food, fun, and fellowship.
Both of these confrontations troubled me, not because I thought my beliefs were wrong, but because I never dreamed of visiting a different church so I could evangelize or set them straight. Back in the 1980s, I preached a series of messages about the Church of Christ, showing that they were a cult that preached a false gospel. On Mondays, I would make cassette copies of the sermons and mail them to Church of Christ preachers in a four-county area. This, of course, provoked all sorts of outrage. I received several cassette sermons in the mail from Church of Christ preachers. Their sermons were their attempt to expose the Baptists as a cult! How dare they! I was a member of True Church®. In the 1800s, the Baptists expelled Campbellites — Alexander Campbell and his father Thomas Campbell were the founders of the Church of Christ (along with Barton Stone) — from their midst for heresy. Cults, the lot of them.
What I never considered is that I too was a cultist; that Christianity, in general, was a cult. According to the TheSage Dictionary, a cult is a system of religious beliefs and rituals; cultists are followers of an exclusive system of religious beliefs and practices. Pretty well describes Christianity in general, and the IFB church movement in particular, does it not? I could see the “cult” in every sect but my own.
Want to enrage Evangelical/IFB preachers? Call them cultists. Out will come their Bibles, proof-texts, and evidence that “proves” that their brand of Christianity is that which was founded by Jesus, John the Baptist, and the Apostle Paul. Blinded by arrogance and hubris, they cannot see that their sects and churches are cults too.
To these True Christians® I say: by all means, continue to fight among yourselves. Keep waging internecine warfare against each other. Keep slinging words such as cult or heretic. You are doing good work, exposing the bankruptcy of your beliefs.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
How we spend our money says a lot about our values and what we consider important. As an Evangelical pastor, I took seriously the teachings of the Bible concerning money (mammon) and material possessions. Today, many preachers and churches put money before ministry; material possessions before ministering to the least of these. In Matthew 25, Jesus talked about the importance of helping the least of these; that doing so was a sign of true faith. Who are the least of these? People who are hungry, sick, thirsty, poor, widowed, orphaned, and in prison. Further, the Bible discusses ministering to strangers and foreigners (immigrants). Yet, it seems most churches and pastors either can’t find these verses in their Bibles or they KNOW what the Word of the Lord says but try to either reinterpret these verses or explain them away. What we end up with, then, are churches loaded with cash that are focused on making fat sheep fatter, showing no love, compassion, or regard for the strangers at their gates.
Oh, these churches and their pastors will object, saying, We LOVE people! We love them so much that we share the gospel with them. Instead of seeing people as they are, churches see them as sinners, broken, and in need of fixing. People are never seen as . . . people. Instead, they are viewed as targets of evangelization; prospective church members; and future tithers. With Evangelical churches, in particular, I have concluded that it is almost impossible for them to interact with the unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines of the world without having ulterior motives.
As a member of 7 Hills, I find this quite concerning that you are judging the actions of the church without coming to a service, speaking directly to a staff member or researching outside of one article. The church gives MILLIONS to the community all the ways you listed and also provides to several prison ministries and the men/women incarcerated there. We provide a mobile Women’s health bus that goes into the community to share the answer of life to those that are questioning decisions that could lead otherwise. I would challenge you to call the church and ask the questions you may have toward the ministries.
The article in question was about a megachurch’s annual egg drop for children. I wrote:
7 Hills Church, a congregation with locations in Florence, Kentucky, and Cincinnati, Ohio, provides a good illustration of what I am talking about in this post. 7 Hills Church held multiple egg drops after services on Good Friday, Holy (huh?) Saturday, and Easter Sunday. 200,000 eggs were dropped for 3,000 children to put in their baskets and bags. According to Kyle Waid, an associate pastor at 7 Hills Church, “Every year, 7 Hills Church tries to make fun Easter memories for families. Over the years, we’ve dropped eggs out of hot air balloons, had professional skydivers, fireworks, and even shot people out of cannons.”
Waid knows Easter egg hunts are thoroughly, completely, and absolutely secular, yet justifies having one:
“[Paul said] To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. Our church carries that same mission. We have become all things to all people with the same goal as Paul: that someone would receive the message of Jesus. The egg hunt is an afterthought. The goal is to reach people.”
The goal, Waid stated, is to “reach [save, evangelize] people.” Not just doing something nice and fun for local children. The goal is what the goal always is for Evangelicals: saving sinners, adding members to the church, and increasing offerings.
Much like Evangelical rescue missions who require homeless people to sit through a sermon and an altar call before getting a meal or a bed for the night, 7 Hills Church required children and their families to attend church before the Easter egg drop.
“Following every Easter service, we hand out admission tickets to the egg hunt. It’s our hope that through the 10 minutes of hunting eggs, families can create a fun memory together. It’s our prayer that through the hour and 15-minute service, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, grandparents, sisters, and brothers can find a forever friend in Jesus.”
According to Waid, almost five hundred people were “saved” during the Easter weekend churches. Waid added that 7 Hills pastor Marcus Mecum “has always invested heavily in the next generation, including making church for children fun and engaging.” Dropping plastic Easter eggs from the sky, a stunt that cost thousands of dollars, is “investing heavily in the next generation’? Really? Fun? Sure. But, I would love to know how much money 7 Hills has invested in the local community with no strings attached. My bet is on “not much.” How much money was spent on people outside of the church, on paying rent, utilities, car repairs, and providing food to the least of these? Again, based on their multi-million-dollar budget, I’d say “not much.
As you can see, the goal was to evangelize the lost. Participants were required to attend church before getting a ticket granting them admission to the egg drop. According to the church, this is one of the ways they invest heavily in the next generation. Really? I mean really? Does anyone think that dropping plastic eggs made in China from the sky has anything to do with investing in anything other than a slick publicity stunt meant to evangelize people and incorporate them into the church?
The commenter above protests, saying that 7 Hills does all sorts of things for the local community. What, exactly? I have challenged numerous Evangelicals over the years who object to my sharp criticism of their churches or pastors, saying that, as the commenter does, “our church gives MILLIONS to the community.” Really? Let’s see your budget. Not the annual summary budget churches often use to hide exactly how much money was taken in and how it was spent. Yes, I know all the tricks of the trade; how easy it is to hide certain expenditures behind generic line item entries in a superficial, misleading one-page summary budget.
I have been asking Evangelical churches and pastors for their budgets for almost twenty years. Not one church has coughed up a detailed budget. Why is that? I submit that they know doing so will show that the emperor has no clothes; that most church income is spent on buildings, utilities, staff, benefits, and felt-need programs meant to fatten up fat sheep. Very little is spent on helping the least of these; on ministering to those who can offer nothing in return or will never become asses in the seats.
The commenter said 7 Hills spends millions of dollars on helping people. I would love to see evidence for this claim. And, even if it is true, millions of dollars out of how much? Let’s say a church takes in $10 million a year. Over ten years, that’s $100 million. A proud-as-a-peacock member might say, “The church spent $5 million on helping people.” Significant to be sure, but compared to the $100 million pool, the church spent five percent of its income helping others. Where did the rest of the money go?
I will gladly eat my words if a church proves me wrong, but so far, no church has shown that its prime directive is to spend most of its money on those outside the gates. Churches are certainly free to spend their money as they wish, but if they attempt to pass themselves off as sacrificial benevolent organizations, I am going to ask them to show me the money. Evangelical pastors are notorious for lying about their churches’ income and expenditures. Shit, it is almost impossible to find out how much they are actually paid in salary and benefits or how much they make on side gigs like speaking fees and book royalties. Many Evangelical megachurch pastors, in particular, are multimillionaires, all the while encouraging people to walk in the footsteps of Jesus.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Several years ago, a Seventh-Day Adventist pastor emailed me and asked:
You certainly are preaching your good news still, eh? Once a preacher, always a preacher I guess. I read some of your site and I find it intriguing, if a bit … missionary … in its atheistic zeal. I’m curious if your message about your personal journey has won any converts to the atheism cause. Or did most former Christians just come to your site because they already had one foot on the way out and saw you out here? Like you, I’m sick of the lies inside the churches. But its clear I don’t hate the same set of “lies” you do. Unlike many Christian pastors, I have no interest in converting anyone and never have. I write only because I went through this same journey (and its subsequent fallout) with a fellow pastor in the Seventh-day Adventist church, Ryan Bell, and I am gathering information as to why these journeys take place at all. So thanks for taking the time to write down why you left. It actually strengthens me in staying.
I have always been passionate about whatever I do in my life. So, what might be perceived as “missionary zeal” is actually just Bruce being Bruce. As a writer, I believe I have something to say that matters, so I put my whole being into my work. That said, my goal has never been to be an evangelist for atheism. My target audience remains the same today as it was seventeen years ago: those who have questions/doubts about Christianity and those who have left Christianity. I see myself as a facilitator. My goal is to help people distance themselves from Fundamentalist Christianity. (Please see Are Evangelicals Fundamentalists?)
The letter writer asks if my story has won any converts to atheism. The short answer is yes. Numerous ex-Evangelical pastors, evangelists, missionaries, and laypeople say that my writing was instrumental in their deconversion. While this is not my goal, I am humbled by the fact that many people find my writing helpful. That thousands of people read this blog still blows my mind.
The readers of this blog are quite eclectic. While I am an agnostic atheist, many readers are not. Evangelicals and liberal Christians, along with atheists, agnostics, pagans, and other non-Christians read my writing. Many of them have both feet firmly planted in their religious traditions. Others do not. Questioners and doubters, along with people seriously considering leaving the fold, often find that my writing resonates with them. My words ring true.
Of course, I also attract Evangelical apologists and critics, along with Muslim and Catholic zealots. Countless Christians have sent me emails or left comments on a particular post, hoping to bring me back into the fold, deconstruct my life, or discredit my story. In my early blogging days, I thought that if I just openly and honestly shared my story, apologists, zealots, and critics would, at the very least, understand where I am coming from. Those days are long gone. Instead of engaging in endless debates, I give such people one opportunity to “share” whatever it is God has laid upon their hearts. If they play well with others, I might approve further comments from them. Unfortunately, most Evangelical commenters are terrible representatives of Christ on earth. (Please see Dear Evangelical.) Even if they could mount an effective defense of Christianity, why would I ever want to be around such nasty, arrogant, mean-spirited people?
As far as the “why” of my deconversion, here’s my stock answer:
I no longer believe that the central claims of Christianity are true. I came to a place in my life where these beliefs no longer made sense to me. (Please see The Michael Mock Rule: It Just Doesn’t Make Sense.) I reject all the miraculous claims made for Jesus, from his virgin birth to his resurrection from the dead. I do believe Jesus is was a real flesh and blood human being who lived on Palestine 2,000 years ago, However, as with all humans, he lived and died, end of story.
Over the years, I have corresponded with hundreds of clergy who are either no longer believers or have serious doubts about Christianity. Their numbers are increasing daily. Why is that?
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
The Bible is clear on this subject. The inspired, inerrant, infallible Word of God that millions of Evangelicals SAY they believe says:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. (2 Corinthians 6:14-17)
2 Corinthians 6:14-17 is not an ambiguous or hard-to-interpret passage of Scripture. It means exactly what it says. Believers (Christians, followers of Jesus) should not be unequally yoked (joined) together with unbelievers. The Bible describes marriage this way: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
One would think that bought-by-the-blood, Bible-believing Evangelicals would, because of their love for Jesus, obey what God has commanded. God calls on every single Christian to be just like Tim Tebow: a virgin until the day they marry a fellow believer of the OPPOSITE sex.
But, in another, all-too-typical, example of the fact that Evangelicals only believe the Bible when it fits their lifestyle and ignore it or explain it away when it doesn’t, the Christian Partner for Life website (website is no longer active) gives this advice:
Finding your husband or wife can be quite a process. Often, whether through school or elsewhere, we meet people in our lives who are not committed Christians. A common question that we receive is: “Is it OK to date someone who is not committed to Christianity?” While many advisors and ministers that we encounter have said definitively “NO,” we think it is important to have a more secular view of the situation. If you have a great connection with someone, and they would potentially want to explore raising your future family with predetermined beliefs, we see no reason to object . . .
We believe that marrying a non-Christian or a non-practicing Christian is not a definitive “no” answer, as is commonly taught. Would you rather stay single or marry a loving and wonderful person who is agnostic of Christian beliefs? If this future partner is devoted to you and has a great moral compass, we think the possibility of marriage should very much exist. If a relationship is based upon love, trust and mutual respect, there is a good chance that a marriage will succeed, regardless of religion.
The caveat to this question becomes whether your future spouse is willing to raise a family the way that you would like to. Would your future spouse be open to raising your children as committed Christians? If so, we think that a relationship could work . . .
In other words, ignore the Bible.
The Bible says that nonbelievers are dead in trespasses and sin. Unbelievers are at variance with God, vain in their imaginations, and haters of God. Unbelievers are really bad people, After all, their father is the Devil himself.
Yet, John at Christian Partner for Life says: “If this future partner is devoted to you and has a great moral compass” then perhaps it would be okay to marry them. How can unbelievers have a great moral compass? According to the Bible, they can’t.
Here’s what I think . . . unbelievers are hotter . . . and baby, when it comes to chasing after hotness, let the Bible be damned darned.
All silliness aside, John’s post at Christian Partner for Life is just another reminder that Evangelicals, for all their bluster about the Bible being truth, really don’t believe it.
Now for MY marriage advice for unbelievers.
Actually, the Bible gives some pretty good advice here. In most circumstances, it would be unwise for an unbeliever to marry an Evangelical. Unless the believer is willing to live as an unbeliever, then it is probably not a good idea to marry someone who doesn’t believe in or worship God. I can hear the howling now. Evangelicals everywhere are screaming, HOW DARE YOU EXPECT A BELIEVER TO DENY THEIR FAITH AND LIVE AS AN UNBELIEVER!! I bet it seemed okay to most Evangelicals when John proposed the very same thing when he suggested making sure the unbeliever would be willing to raise future children as believers. Evangelicals seem to always expect OTHERS to compromise so they can be true to their beliefs, but they rarely seem to be able to compromise their beliefs for the sake of others. The message is clear: my beliefs matter, yours don’t.
Generally, it is a bad idea for an unbeliever to marry an Evangelical, especially if their prospective marriage partner’s family is Evangelical too. If you marry anyway, you are sure to have conflict over issues such as:
Baptizing or dedicating your children
Attending church
Tithing
Praying over meals
Having family devotions
Cursing
What entertainments to participate in
What movies to watch
Sex
You will also likely subject yourself to a life of “I am praying for you” and subtle attempts to win you to Jesus.
It is almost impossible for Evangelicals to NOT talk about their faith — nor should they be expected to. This is why the Bible actually gives sound advice about an unequal yoke.
Contrary to the aphorism opposites attract, successful marriages are usually built on the things that the husband and wife have in common. While my partner of almost forty-six years and I are very different people, we do have many things in common. We cultivate our common values and beliefs, and with things we differ on, we leave each other free to pursue those things alone.
Over time, the things a couple differs on can become something both like or agree upon. When Polly and I married she was a sports atheist. I was a jock. I mean, I was one of THOSE kinds of guys. I played sports year-round for the first ten years of our marriage. Age, knee problems, and a busy ministerial life finally ended my sports-playing career. Polly made a good faith effort to enter into my world. For a long time, her ignorance of sports was quite amusing, but bit by bit she became conversant in sports-talk. I did not reciprocate. I still do not know how to sew or put the toilet seat down.
We still have a lot of things that we do not hold in common, and that’s okay. But, the bedrock of our marriage of almost forty-six years is the values, beliefs, and likes we share. I believe it would be very hard for an Evangelical and an unbeliever to find common ground to build a successful marriage. It’s not impossible, but it is extremely hard.
On this issue, I am much more of a Bible believer than John at Christian Partner for Life. Granted, I see the principle taught in Scripture from an atheist perspective these days, but it still is good advice. When it comes to the foundational issues of life and the philosophies we live by, having a common mind is always best. Certainly, compromise is possible, but willingly chucking your beliefs (whatever they might be) for love will usually leave you disappointed, and it may land you in divorce court.
If you are in an unequally yoked marriage or relationship, how do you make it work? Please leave your thoughts in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
While I was an Evangelical pastor for twenty-five years, I was bivocational for many of those years. That doesn’t mean I was a part-time pastor. As my partner of almost forty-six years will attest, I was a full-time pastor, while at the same time working forty hours a week for secular employers. In other words, I was a workaholic who was rarely home.
I worked all sorts of jobs, including management positions with four restaurant companies, a Christian bookstore, a direct medical equipment company, and the Village of Buckeye Lake, Ohio. My father was a small business owner, owning a hobby store in Findlay, Ohio, and a gun store in Sierra Vista, Arizona. As a teenager, working for my dad, I learned the ins and outs of running a business. While Dad and I didn’t have a relationship to speak of, I will always appreciate him teaching me the nuts and bolts of the business world.
One thing Dad taught me was this: The goal of any business is to make money. Such a novel thought, right? While people may start businesses because they are passionate about this or that — thinking that because they love to cook they can easily own and run a restaurant — the goal is always the same: to make as much money as possible.
The key to making money is attracting customers to your business. To grow a business, you need both regular and new customers. No company can survive without growing its customer base. I love watching shows such as Bar Rescue and Restaurant Impossible. These shows feature failing bars and restaurants, often operated by owners who have no real business experience. After all, how hard can it be to run a pub or a restaurant? As these ill-informed, uneducated owners learn, it is quite hard to run a successful business. In every instance, these businesses faced declining revenues because of reduced customer counts. Here’s the formula: fewer customers = less revenues. Granted, other factors play a part such as overhead costs, labor costs, food costs, etc, but generally, the more customers you have, the more you will make and the better off your business will be.
As a manager, I wanted to attract as many customers as possible. I didn’t care about their age, sex, gender, marital status, race, religion, political affiliation, or how they looked or dressed. All I wanted was their money. Capitalism 101, right? As a business owner or manager, my goal was to provide the best products and services possible for an affordable price. I went out of my way to make sure my stores were clean and provided customers with the best possible experience. Evidently, many Evangelical business owners think differently, using their businesses as tools to indoctrinate and evangelize their customers, choosing Jesus, the Bible, and religious dogma over making money.
I live in rural northwest Ohio — the land of God, Guns, and Trump. There are lots of Evangelical-owned businesses, everything from mom-and-pop stores to large manufacturing concerns. The owners of these businesses wrongly think that almost everyone who works for them or frequents their establishments is Christian. Sure, many locals claim membership at a local Christian church — even though they rarely, if ever, attend services — but a sizable percentage of residents are indifferent towards religion or are unbelievers. Thus, it is surprising to me — if making money is the goal — that Evangelical-owned businesses think everyone believes just like them; and likes what they like. How else do you explain business walls plastered with Jesus Junk®, ceiling speakers blaring Christian music, tract racks, and advertisements for the church the owner attends? As atheists, the last thing my partner and I want to be exposed to is Jesus, the Bible, or church advertisements. The other day, we ate at the China Dragon in Napoleon, Ohio. So-so food, but what annoyed the hell out of us was the music — WBCL, a local Evangelical radio station. Since when did contemporary Christian music (CCM) and Chinese stir fry go together? It was annoying, to say the least.
Evangelical business owners are free to do what they want, but they might want to pay attention to their service area’s demographics. If the goal is to make as much money as possible and attract new customers, then it stands to reason that aesthetics should be welcoming and neutral, and not advertisements for Christianity and the owner’s personal religious beliefs and practices. Take Samuel Mancino’s in Archbold, Ohio. We love eating at Mancino’s, but the Evangelical owner thinks Jesus and her church come before serving customers. Thus, the store is closed on Sundays (and Mondays) and closes early on Wednesdays so employees can go to church. The store is open four and a half days a week Evidently, locals don’t eat on Sundays, Mondays, after 2:30 pm on Wednesdays, or after 7:30 pm the rest of the week. Revenues lost, but, hey, everyone knows the owner is a Christian.
More than a few local businesses let potential customers know they are Christians by using religious symbols in their advertising — especially the cross and ichthys (fish) icons. These symbols are tribal affiliation markers, much like gang members wearing particular tattoos. These business owners want customers to know that they are frequenting a Christian-owned, Jesus-approved business. Because I’m unbeliever, these icons say to me that I am not welcome; that the business doesn’t want my money. Message received. You push Jesus, and I will spend my money elsewhere.
I am not anti-Christian. I know that most local businesses are owned and operated by people of faith. I don’t care what a business owner believes or doesn’t believe. What I want is hot food, and excellent service, at an affordable price. Sweetwater Chophouse in Defiance is one business that gets it, and that’s why I eat there with Polly and my friends several times a month. Many of the patrons around us are Christians. We know this because of their prayers before eating and their banter about Jesus, the Bible, and the church they attend. I am sure they can hear our ungodly, irreligious banter too. Such is the communal aspect of sharing meals in restaurants. Sweetwater’s goal is the same as it should be for every restaurant: to make as much money as possible while providing excellent food and service. If Sweetwater ever starts pushing religion, we will eat elsewhere. We want to give our hard-earned money to people who don’t view their businesses as advertisements for Christianity or tools to evangelize unwashed, uncircumcised Philistines. As an atheist business owner, I would never push my atheistic or humanist beliefs. I wouldn’t plaster the walls with Christoper Hitchens quotes or give 10% discounts to patrons who didn’t go to church. (Some businesses give church-attending customers a discount if they show the server a bulletin that proves they attended church.) Whosover will, let him come — and eat at my restaurant. 🙂 Christian money spends just like atheist money, and, as a business owner, I want as much money as possible, regardless of where it came from or how it was earned. Famed early 20th-century Fundamentalist evangelist Billy Sunday once was asked why he took money from bar owners. Sunday replied, “The Devil has had the money long enough.” Sunday didn’t care where the money came from, and neither should Evangelical business owners.
Years ago, I got into a heated discussion online with a local Evangelical business owner and avid Trump supporter. His storefront windows and walls were covered with Evangelical, pro-Trump, and anti-Obama/Clinton signs, pictures, and stickers. I told him that these things were driving away customers who believed differently from him. He told me that he didn’t care; that he didn’t want or need my money. Well, evidently he did. A few years later he went out of business. The reasons for his store’s closing were many, but one thing was certain: fewer customers = less income; less income = more financial pressures.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
When Evangelical apologists are asked for evidence for the resurrection of Jesus, they will often quote I Corinthians 15:3-8:
For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep.After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.
See, Bruce, see! Over 500 people saw Jesus after he resurrected from the dead. The Bible says so! End of discussion.
The book of 1 Corinthians was written by the Apostle Paul and Sosthenes circa 53-55 CE, two decades after the death of Jesus. What we have, then, in I Corinthians 15:3-8, is one man’s claim that more than 500 people saw Jesus after he resurrected from the dead. We have no written evidence for this claim outside of what Paul wrote in I Corinthians. That’s it. You would think that if an executed criminal came back to life and walked the streets of Jerusalem and the surrounding area for forty days, a secular author would have written that down. The same goes for the claim found in Matthew 27:50-53
Jesus, when he had cried again with a loud voice, yielded up the ghost.And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent;And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose,And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many.
After Jesus drew his last breath on the cross, graves were opened, and many dead saints came back to life, exited their graves, and walked to Jerusalem — appearing to many. Once-dead people coming back to life! Once dead people walking the streets of Jerusalem, appearing to other people! What an astounding event. Yet, no one bothered to write one word about it apart from a verse in the Bible written fifty years after the death of Jesus.
There is no historical record of either of these events apart from the claims of an anonymous Jew and the Apostle Paul. One man’s claim does not evidence make. There is little to no extra-Biblical evidence for the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. Even if we grant the Biblical accounts historical status, there is no corroborating evidence. None. Thus, believing more than 500 people saw Jesus after his death requires faith. The same goes for the zombie apocalypse recorded in Matthew 27.
Thus, I remain convinced that the apocalyptic Jewish preacher named Jesus lived for around thirty-three years, ran afoul of Roman law, was executed on a cross, and was buried in an unmarked grave — never to be seen again. If Evangelical apologists want me to believe otherwise, all I ask is that they provide evidence that is more than Bible proof texts.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Any cursory reading of the Bible reveals that the “church” — the elect, god’s chosen ones, the saved — are commanded to live at peace among themselves. How pleasant it is for the brethren to dwell in unity, (Psalm 133:1) the Bible says. Filled with the Holy Spirit, Christians should daily demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit in their lives: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. The Apostle Paul told Trinity Baptist Church in Corinth: I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. (1 Corinthians 1:10) Speaking of the early church, the writer of the book of Acts said in chapter 4: All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. Jesus said in John 13:35: By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. 1 Peter 3:8 says, Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. And finally, Paul tells First Baptist Church of Ephesus:
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:3-6)
Compare what the inspired, inerrant, and infallible Word of God commands with what we actually see in most Evangelical churches. Several decades ago, Evangelical churches began moving from traditional worship services with primarily hymn singing to contemporary worship services with primarily contemporary Christian and praise and worship singing. The former had a song leader leading music from a hymnbook, the latter a worship team using songs typically projected on a screen with an overhead projector. The former used a piano and organ, the latter used guitars, drums, and keyboards. (These are general observations.)
I started out in the 1970s preaching in churches that had traditional worship services. Over time, we added a few choruses and praise and worship songs, but, for the most part, our worship services were not much different from those from the 1950s. In 1995, I started Our Father’s House in West Unity, Ohio in 1997. Our Father’s House was a nondenominational church, though our worship style was traditional. This changed after our three oldest sons took guitar and bass lessons and needed an outlet for their music. I decided to move from a traditional worship style to what is called a blended worship style. Every Sunday, we sang both hymns and praise and worship music. As we added people and instruments to our band, the music focused more on newer styles of worship. However, hymns were always a part of our worship, just less so.
The change in music ruffled the feathers of three church families, who demanded we stop using contemporary music, or what they called charismatic music. I refused, reminding them that we sang hymns each week, and that the newer music appealed to younger adults and teenagers. These families left in a huff, the only people to leave the church in the seven years I was blessed to be their pastor.
In 2004, we moved from rural northwest Ohio to Yuma, Arizona — a move that we hoped would improve my health. One church we attended was a Church of the Nazarene congregation which held two services on Sundays: an early service that used traditional music and a late service that used a blended music approach. We attended the late service. We preferred praise and worship music, and those attending the service were younger, people with families. The early services were attended primarily by people in their fifties and sixties; people who were thrilled church was over by ten so they could then eat breakfast at Denny’s. The early service was boring, geared toward old people. Each service time had a different preacher. The early service preacher was a retired pastor; the late service preacher was a pastor in his late 30s. We preferred the younger guy.
The church didn’t need to hold two services. They did so to keep everyone happy. In an effort to keep everyone satisfied and tithing, church leaders split the congregation. This, however, didn’t stop the conflict between the two factions. The church later returned to one service on Sundays at 10:30 am. Not far from our home is a Church of God that holds two services. The early service (traditional 8:30 am)) is primarily attended by old people — farmers and first-shift factory workers. The late service (contemporary 11:00 am) is attended by younger adults — frazzled younger couples with children and others who love sleeping in on Sundays.
As a pastor, I was opposed to split services. I also, later in my ministerial career, opposed children’s church programs. I believed worship was meant to be done together: all ages in one room, families sitting together, worshipping the Lord. We visited numerous churches that divided people up into various groups, choosing to reserve worship services for adults alone. Preschoolers, children, and teenagers attended services geared towards their “needs” — as if worship is all about personal wants and needs. In 2005-06, we attended a Missionary Church in Pettisville, Ohio. The church had traditional (8:30 am) and contemporary (10:30 am) services, with age-focused programs during the contemporary services. We are not early morning people — never have been — so we attended the late service. One Sunday, the church’s youth director came up to our children and tried to get them to attend the youth service. I quickly cut him off, telling the youth pastor that we believed in family worship. We worshiped together as a family. By then, I had a distrust of youth directors, knowing that the levels of sexual misconduct by youth pastors were high. I also knew that youth pastors typically dumbed down their services, and focused on keeping teens entertained for an hour or so. I didn’t want this for my children.
My opinion remains unchanged on this issue. The worship wars have caused incalculable harm and division. People who are members of the same church rarely worship together. Some churches, out of necessity, hold multiple services, but most churches hold multiple services to placate people who either want a certain style of music or want to attend church at a certain time. Instead of focusing on unity, churches, fearing disgruntled members leaving and taking their money with them, cater to the whims of people who can’t or won’t sing certain styles of music.
Do you have experiences with the Evangelical worship wars? Did your church have multiple services? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.
Bruce Gerencser, 66, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 45 years. He and his wife have six grown children and thirteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
