This is the one hundred and second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Ya’ll Motherfuckers Need Jesus by The Goddamn Gallows.
Ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
better end your wicked ways
well you know that he’s comin’
and you’re gonna be runnin’
when we’re at the end of days
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
i see satan in your eyes
well i see you standin’ there
in your fancy clothes
don’t you know that you’re gonna die
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but you keep your bible closed
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
whether if you’re rich or poor
well you know he’s gonna spite you
cuz you’re such a motherfucker
and he don’t like you no more
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
put you deep down in the hole
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
would he ever lie to me
well he don’t like evil
and he don’t like sinnin’
and he don’t like sodomy
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost
This is the one hundred and first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trash by Tyler Glenn, lead singer for Neon Tree.
I think I lost myself in your new religion
You say a prayer for me like a superstition
We were always made for love
We could always speak in tongues
On my knees and I’m seeing visions
Yeah, you remind me that seven sins are deadly
You used to baptize me when I wasn’t ready
Water never turns to wine
I’ve been drinking all the time
I think of you whenever I see fire in the sky
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Verse 2]
I said my flesh is weak but the spirit’s willing
And you would sell my soul just to make the killing
If you wanted me to stay
I’d repent my days away
I think of you when I see fire in the sky
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Bridge]
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
This is the one hundredth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
When the sun had left and the winter came
And the sky fall could only bring the rain
(I sat in darkness, all broken hearted)
I couldn’t find a day I didn’t feel alone
I never meant to cry, started losing hope…
(But somehow baby) You broke through and saved me
You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You made the brightest days from the darkest nights
You’re the river bank where I was baptized
Cleanse all the demons
That were killing my freedom
Let me lay you down, give me to ya
Get you singing babe, hallelujah
We’ll be touching, we’ll be touching heaven
You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
I don’t need the stars cause you shine for me
Like fire in my veins, you’re my ecstasy
(You’re my ecstasy)
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re the healing hands where it used to hurt
You’re my saving grace, you’re my kind of church
This is the sixteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a song titled The KJV. This video features clips of sermons preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist evangelical Phil Kidd. The song was written by Jason Cizek.
This is the fifteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached at North Valley Baptist Church, Santa Clara, California by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Tony Hutson, pastor of Middle Tennessee Baptist Church, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Hutson is the son of the late Curtis Hutson, one time IFB pastor and editor of the Sword of the Lord.
This is the fourteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached by an unnamed Independent Fundamentalist Baptist preacher. The kind of preaching displayed in this video is quite common in the South.
Some Evangelical posts a status update that says: Please pray for me. I need ___________ or I am going through __________ or I have an unspoken request.
And like clockwork, the prayer comments quickly collect below the status update.
Praying.
Praying for you.
You are in my prayers.
Thinking of you and praying God will meet your need.
And on and one they go.
No one ever bothers to check the efficacy of the prayers. That’s not the point. Saying I am praying is a way for Evangelicals to think they are doing SOMETHING while not actually doing anything. Even worse, some Evangelicals are so busy doing “important” stuff on Facebook that they have no time to even type the word praying. These devoted followers of Jesus click LIKE, expecting that their meaningless action will somehow tilt heaven’s prayer scale in the favor of the petitioner.
Look, I get it…saying “I’m praying for you” can often be a way of showing support for people going through trials and adversities. Knowing people are praying for you can be comforting, a sort of long distance hug. But far too often, real needs go unmet because people are busy praying instead of helping. The Bible says, whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might. While this verse can be applied to masturbation — come on you were thinking it — I have always taken it to mean that if I have the power to help someone I should do so. I have sat through countless prayer meetings where well-intentioned Christians were praying over needs that they themselves could have met. I have always been of the opinion — even when I was a pastor — that Evangelicals spend way too much time praying and not enough time doing. Stop praying for the sick, hungry, and hurting and help them!
Sadly, many of the people who say “I will pray for you” don’t even do that.
This is the thirteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Paul Chappell, pastor of Lancaster Baptist Church, Lancaster, California. This is video is another reminder of the fact that in IFB churches women are always blamed for the moral weaknesses of men. If church women will just cover up their legs and cleavage, IFB men will never be inappropriately sexually aroused, or so the thinking goes, anyway.
This is the twelfth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!
Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist and convicted felon Jack Schaap, pastor of First Baptist Church in Hammond, Indiana. In 2012, he was arrested and charged with sexually abusing a church teenager he was counseling. He is now serving a 12 year sentence in a federal penitentiary. Schaap’s wife divorced him. While this video is not actually about masturbating, many people believe that his polished shaft demonstration revealed — in some Freudian way — that Schaap was already struggling with sexual issues at least two years before he was arrested for sexually abusing a church teenager.
Despite the many challenges Polly and I have faced over the past 40 years, we, amazingly, still love each other. We began life together as two naïve young people mutually infatuated with one another. As most couples who have been married a long time will tell you, deep, abiding love takes time to grow. Young love is often focused on the physical, but as couples age, their love for one another becomes more complex. Certainly, the physical is still important, but love is so much more than biological needs and urges. As people age, they change. We get up in the morning, look in the mirror, knowing that the youthful beauty and virility of 40 years ago is waning. It’s not that I don’t think Polly is beautiful — I do — but she is much more than just a pretty face. She is my friend and confidant. She’s the hand on the till when my life is spinning out of control. I am there for her and she is there for me. Oh, we still fuss and fight, often over the same things we fought about 30 years ago. Each of us is still as irritating to the other. But love forged in the fires of human experience sees beyond the irritations and personality quirks. Some days we don’t like each other very much. That’s life. Loves sees beyond the moment, reminding us that we have been privileged to experience a life that many will never know.
There are times when I feel guilty over being happily married. I correspond with people whose marriages are on the rocks thanks to their loss of faith. I wish I could wave a magic wand over their marriages and make them whole again, but I know I can’t. Stress and loss often reveal cracks in marital relationships. Sadly, many marriages don’t survive when one party says I no longer believe. Similar to the loss of a child, losing Jesus can and does cause great heartache and often leads to marital conflict. Some couples find a way to make things work, others can’t find a way to build a bridge from loving Jesus together to one partner not believing God exists. For whatever reason, Polly and I were able to walk away from Christianity together. While our reasons for deconverting are different, both of us number ourselves among the godless. Sometimes, people will suggest that Polly is some sort of lemming blindly following her husband. I think there are members of her family who sincerely believe that once I am dead Polly will return to Christianity. The fact that they think this reveals that they have likely never understood Polly. She’s quiet and reserved, and people often mistake her demeanor for passivity. Nothing could be farther from the truth. She is, in every way, just as committed as I am to living according to the humanist ideals. And it is this commitment that continues to strengthen our marriage.
I usually listen to Spotify when I write. Today, I am in a country mood. What follows is a song by Jon Pardi that aptly expresses the love I have Polly. I hope she enjoys it, and I hope you do too.
I wanna sweep you off your feet tonight
I wanna love you and hold you tight
Spin you around on some old dance floor
Act like we never met before for fun, ‘cause
You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need
Baby, if I was a king, ah, you would be my queen
You’re the rock in my roll
You’re good for my soul, it’s true
I’m head over boots for you
The way you sparkle like a diamond ring
Maybe one day we can make it a thing
Test time and grow old together
Rock in our chairs and talk about the weather, yeah
So, bring it on in for that angel kiss
Put that feel good on my lips, ‘cause
You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need
Baby, if I was a king, ah, you would be my queen
You’re the rock in my roll
You’re good for my soul, it’s true
I’m head over boots for you
Yeah, I’m here to pick you up
And I hope I don’t let you down, no, ‘cause
You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need
Baby, if I was a king, ah, you would be my queen
You’re the rock in my roll
You’re good for my soul, it’s true
I’m head over boots for you
You’re the one I want, you’re the one I need
Baby, if I was a king, ah, you would be my queen
You’re the rock in my roll
You’re good for my soul, it’s true
I’m head over boots for you
I wanna sweep you off your feet tonight
I wanna love you and hold you tight
Spin you around on some old dance floor
