The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.
Stephen Brown, pastor of Seven Lakes Baptist Church in Stanwood, Washington and a teacher at Arlington Christian School in Arlington, Washington, stands accused of voyeurism. A USB drive allegedly belonging to Brown was found in Arlington Christian’s parking lot. The drive contained up-skirt videos of several of Brown’s students. According to KIRO-7 News, there are hundreds of videos that investigators are going through, hoping to identify other victims. Brown’s bond was set at $100,000.
This is the one hundred ninety-third installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Holiday by Green Day.
[Verse 1]
Hear the sound of the falling rain
Coming down like an Armageddon flame (Hey!)
The shame, the ones who died without a name
Hear the dogs howling out of key
To a hymn called “Faith and Misery” (Hey!)
And bleed, the company lost the war today
[Chorus]
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
[Verse 2]
Hear the drum pounding out of time
Another protester has crossed the line (Hey!)
To find the money’s on the other side
Can I get another Amen? (Amen!)
There’s a flag wrapped around a score of men (Hey!)
A gag, a plastic bag on a monument
[Chorus]
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
On holiday
[Interlude]
“The representative from California has the floor”
[Middle Eight]
Sieg Heil to the president Gasman
Bombs away is your punishment
Pulverize the Eiffel towers
Who criticize your government
Bang bang goes the broken glass
And kill all the fags that don’t agree
Trials by fire, setting fire
Is not a way that’s meant for me
Just ‘cause, just ‘cause
Because we’re outlaws, yeah!
[Chorus]
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
I beg to dream and differ from the hollow lies
This is the dawning of the rest of our lives
This is our lives on holiday
This is the one hundred ninety-second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.
Today’s Song of Sacrilege is God is Busy, May I Help You by Kultur Shock.
I know, I’m stranger in your land
I know, ladies and gentlemen
I know, I am coming here to stay
And take your jobs away
And you know, I will trade your soul for mine
Freedom doesn’t cost a dime
Don’t waste your time, religion is crime
I can make your problems go away right now
‘Cause God is busy, may I help you?
I know, stayed way too long
I know, we are not cute anymore
I know, we will never hear this song
On the radio
And you know, every word is truth and I
I can make you laugh and cry
And šljivovica, rakija
She can make your problems go away right now
People all over America will go to the polls in a week from tomorrow and vote. I have heard women proclaim that people had to fight and die for women to have the right to vote as if this were a God-ordained right. This isn’t true. There was never any civil war over this issue nor is it a God-ordained right. Women “fought” (meaning they left their homes, raised their voices, and shouted for their “rights”) for the right to vote since they felt they knew better than men. They didn’t trust men to lead them in the right way. They wanted to be leaders and run things.
….
What are my thoughts on women voting? I have been asked this frequently. I am not a fan at all. Women overwhelmingly vote Democrat. They vote for big government to take care of them which means higher taxes and more laws and regulations which means less freedoms. They vote for free health care and abortions. They vote for leftist policies which are highly destructive to the family and culture. Socialism hasn’t worked any where that it has been tried.
Do I vote? Yes, I vote to support my husband’s vote and try to overturn a vote that is against all I believe in. I encourage conservative, Christian women to vote for life-affirming principles, smaller government, and more freedoms. I know that voting or not voting is not a sin in any way and each vote is not that meaningful. I am saddened by what our country has become. The Southern Women’s League was right in trying to prevent the Women’s Suffrage Movement. Men are becoming more feminine and women are becoming more masculine. What good can possibly come from this? Men were created to lead. Women were not.
They function as sales pitches and attention-grabbers–and as such, contain exaggerations and outright fabrications meant to aid in those functions. Their creators spend a lot of time crafting them to be like that. And they know very well that a really dramatic testimony can catapult them into stardom.
But when Christians add the bombastic elements of the Satanic Panic to their already-inflated sales pitches, they can elevate those stories to the stratosphere. MAGIC! WITCHCRAFT! SEX! BLOOD! DEMONS! And then, just when the allure of this conspiracy theory seems to be too great to bear, we add in the fact that literally nobody will ever demand proof that anything in the testimony really happened.
(That sound you might have just heard was Christian conjobs messily exploding in their pants.)
Christian audiences have always loved and thrilled to Satanic Panic testimonies. These stories represent triumphs over their enemies. They fulfill all of Christians’ wishes and hopes for conversions. They even (massively incorrectly) consider these stories PROOF YES PROOF of their religion’s veracity.
Consequently, a garden-variety Christian grifter can easily become a rock star with a good Satanic Panic testimony.
Back when I was Christian, I personally watched my own tribemates ignore more humdrum, pedestrian testimonies like mine. Instead, they clambered over each other to get closer to a Satanic Panicker like my ex Biff.
The Black Collar Crime Series relies on public news stories and publicly available information for its content. If any incorrect information is found, please contact Bruce Gerencser. Nothing in this post should be construed as an accusation of guilt. Those accused of crimes are innocent until proven guilty.
My friends at The Wartburg Watch have written several posts about Evangelical Pastor John Longaker’s sordid past; his conviction and prison sentence for having an illicit sexual relationship with a minor girl, Kelly Haines, while he was a teacher at Faith Baptist Academy in Sellersville, Pennsylvania. You can read the original 1997 news report here. Today, Longaker is pastor of Fellowship Bible Church in Bomoseen, Vermont.
The Wartburg Watch contacted Longaker, informing him that they intended to publish a story about his past. WW provided a summary of their conversation with Longaker:
He claimed that he was innocent of the charges. His lawyer told him to pled guilty so that he would get *only probation.* He appeared to say that his lawyer is to blame for his prison term.
At first, he was friendly as he attempted to convince me he was innocent. He became progressively upset when I questioned his version of events.
He claimed that he and his wife are the real victims, saying that they have suffered every day since the trial. “Not a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about this.”
He attempted to convince me that Kelly was out for revenge and that he was glad when she was arrested for a *false report.* I asked him if he understood the trauma Kelly suffered at his hands and how that might have caused her to think she was seeing him around her town. He did not answer my question.
He claimed that he was going to make a statement to his church on 10/7/18. I asked him if he would share a copy of that statement and he said he would send it to me. I offered to post it in its entirety. It was no surprise to me that I never received the statement.
I told him that I would be writing about Kelly’s story and would use his name. He wanted me to be sure to mention that he was innocent.
When I asked why he was convicted if he was innocent, he claimed that the DA had it out for teachers in Christian schools.
He claimed that his church members asked him 3 times to be the pastor so he believed that this is what God wanted. I’m a bit unclear as to whether he actually told the church of his incarceration a priori. They know now due to Kelly’s diligence. If he did say something, I’m sure he declared his innocence and that he merely pled guilty so he wouldn’t go to prison like his lawyer promised… Apparently one woman told Kelly that he went to prison to prevent going through the trauma of the trial.
Here is the most interesting (at least to me) part of our conversation. He asked me if I believed in redemption. At this point, I smiled. I knew the direction that he was going in and I also knew that he didn’t understand how this part of the conversation would lead me to conclusively believe in his guilt.
I told him that, of course, I believe in redemption since I’m a Christian. However, redemption, after appropriate repentance, doesn’t mean that a person should be restored to the pastorate. It simply means he is now restored to being a member in good standing of the church. I reiterated that I do not believe that any pastor or teacher, etc. who abuses a student or has an affair with a member of the church should ever be allowed to be a pastor. He disagreed with me.
I explained that teachers who are now convicted of sexual activity with students go to prison and lose their licenses permanently. Did he feel that churches should have lower standards than public schools? Again, he offered no response to my question.
At this point, he brought up how the apostle Paul was forgiven and went on to be a church leader. This is one of the silliest and most common *gotcha* proof texts that I hear frequently. Do people actually read their Bibles? I told him that Paul persecuted Christians BEFORE he became a Christian and that had he continued that activity after his conversion he would have been booted out!
He claimed that there was nothing in the Bible that proved he could not be a pastor. I, of course, referred him to 1 Timothy 3 which proves my point. He disagreed.
Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a noble task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full[a] respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. (NIV)
However, I believe that he made a serious mistake in this discussion. If Longaker didn’t need redemption, why did he ask me if I believed in redemption? Why did he bring up the sins of Paul if he was totally innocent. If I was accused of a crime that I didn’t commit, I would absolutely refuse to discuss a need for redemption. I am now of the opinion that his discussion with me revealed that, deep down, he feels the need for forgiveness for his actions with Kelly. I fully believe that this man is guilty and should not step one foot in the pulpit.
I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about our conversation yesterday. I don’t know your blog at all so I am having a hard time understanding the purpose of your article on me. If you are writing it because you feel that you need to warn people about me then I guess you need to know this: I am pastor of an autonomous non-denominational church of between 80 and 90 attendees.
Since this is not the first time that Kelly has tried to destroy me by contacting different people in my church, there are many people who are aware of my past and have accepted me. They are aware of the charges and they are aware that I pled guilty. I have offered to resign on three separate occasions and my offer was rejected. So, if you want to expose me then after Sunday they all will know in my church anyway.
One of the members who knows was a woman who was sexually abused as a child. Another who knows was raped twice as a young woman. They both love me and trust me. I believe that I have helped both of them very much. One I was able to aid in counselling her out of her bulimia and suicide attempts. She continues to make significant progress.
I understand and respect your view on whether I should be a pastor or not. I talked to my wife about our conversation (incidentally we have been married for 31 years.) She knew Kelly very well.And has stood by me through all of this because she believes that her accusations weren’t true either. She wanted me to tell you again that Kelly was troubled before I ever began counseling her. (Maybe troubled by other sexual encounters?) She said that it’s ultimately up to the church to decide whether I should be their pastor or not and just because you don’t agree with that, does it give you the license to mention me by name? Needless, to say she was very upset that we have to continually live through this nightmare.
One final thought, if after Sunday the church wants to keep me, don’t you think the fact that my name will be on the internet again will damage the church going forward? If they choose not to keep me then your objective will have been met without writing the article. Our church is a loving, growing compassionate church. This blog can only hurt, not help. If your motive is to help, this is not the way to do it.
Even if I did the horrible things that Kelly said I did, I have been forgiven. I served a sentence that was outside the sentencing guidelines. It is not like this has been hidden. I served a public sentence, paid the price, and tried to put the past behind me. I believe that this has made me a better pastor. I have spent 20 years rebuilding my life and my reputation.
I truly appreciate you reaching out to me. Forgive me for using you as a sounding board but I have 20 years of humiliation and frustration pent up. For my own emotional health, I finally had to say something to someone outside of the church. My fear is that my denial of the accusations is just going to stir up the #metoo people all the more. I am already getting emails and phone calls from strangers.
Incidentally, I feel that her tweet was very unfair in addition to being untrue.
Regular readers of the Black Collar Crime series will easily spot the money quote in Longaker’s email: Even if I did the horrible things that Kelly said I did, I have been forgiven.
Even if he did it, Jesus has forgiven him! All praise be to the Lord, right?
It will be interesting to see if Longaker continues as pastor of Fellowship Bible Church.
Victor Couzens, pastor of Inspirational Bible Church – City of Destiny in Forest Park, Ohio (near Cincinnati), finds himself facing allegations that he had affairs with several (Christian) women.
Last week Obnoxious TV posted a story with claims that pastor and award-winning gospel recording artist Bishop Paul S. Morton had a secret child.
The site accused the 62-year-old preacher of having a 39-year-old daughter name Ane’tra Hawkins that he “did not claim” for more of her life. He is also being accused of denying his daughters existence years ago in fear of jeopardizing his plan to become a pastor.
….
Now Bishop Morton is speaking out to Jawn Murray’s AlwaysAList.com to defend himself.
“While in my early 20’s, prior to pastoring and being married, I did have a very short-lived relationship with a Ms. Elaine Hawkins. A few months after the relationship, she informed me she was expecting a child,” Bishop Morton recalled.
The daughter she was expecting is now 39-year-old Ane’tra, who he provided financial support for. His family, including his three children and wife Dr. Debra B. Morton who is also a pastor, were aware of his other child all along.
“I wish I could tell you that I did right all my life, but I can’t. I have made some major mistakes and this is one of them,” Bishop Morton said about having unwed sex as a young preacher.
Ane’tra supplied the documents to ObnoxiousTV which shows that when she turned 15, her mother asked for financial support. Bishop Morton had the courts institute a legal agreement to determine the financial commitment that he would be required to make until she turned 18.
It wasn’t until Ane’tra was 18 that the preacher decided to ask for a DNA test after, “additional financial requests were made and threats of public exposure.” Ane’tra’s mother denied the request and as a result, Bishop Morton decided that “all contact and financial support” would end.
Ane’tra is now married with three children of her own so the reasons for her coming forward now are unclear. Bishop Morton’s reps think that the move is financially motivated.
“That was one major mistake that I made that I did correct. But people don’t mention the correction,” said Bishop Morton, before emphasizing: “People like mess!”
Bishop Morton believes that this entire ordeal was done to attack his integrity and credibility.
“I know what the devil is trying to do, he wants to take my influence,” he explained. “I know that I have been living a Godly life for God.”
….
Back to Couzens, father of six, and his affairs. According to the Christian Post, one of Couzens’ lovers, Andrea Garrison, thought the good pastor was in a monogamous relationship with her and wanted her to move in with him:
Morton’s apology came after Andrea Garrison, a 29-year-old New York City model who said she had a long-term sexual relationship with Couzens and planned to move in with him as recently as last month, publicly demanded that Couzens apologize to her for allegedly getting engaged to another woman and lying about the nature of their affair.
“I felt stupid, I felt used, I’m hurt, [he] publicly humiliated me, tried to lie on me, tried to tell people I got no receipts. I got more receipts than you could ever imagine,” Garrison explained in an interview with Larry Reid Live on Wednesday where she presented photos of them together as recently as this summer.
“Church checks, [evidence] from other women coming at me with receipts. It’s a lie. It’s not cool,” she insisted of the evidence she has to back up her story.
Garrison stood by her story in an interview with The Christian Post on Monday morning and shared explicit evidence of the relationship she had with Couzens.
She said she was intimate with Couzens as recently as three weeks ago and was led to believe that she and the megachurch preacher began a steady relationship in April after enjoying an on-and-off sexual relationship since 2011.
She was devastated to learn recently, however, that her relationship with the pastor was not exclusive.
“I never knew that there was another girl [fiancee’]. As far as I knew, whenever I would ask he would always say I was the only one. He didn’t want me sleeping with anybody else. He didn’t want me doing this. He didn’t want me doing that. I was the only one. He would fly me out constantly between New York and Cincinnati. He would fly me out to Miami. You know we would spend more time together, he would have me come to the house for like a week. I would cook, clean, do laundry,” Garrison told Reid.
….
Couzens’ bio on his ministry website describes him this way:
Bishop Victor S. Couzens is a native of Dayton, OH. He is the first child of Victor Lee and Sherri Couzens. He began his Preaching Ministry on May 12, 1991 at the age of 14 at the Mt. Moriah Baptist Church in Dayton, OH and his Pastoral Ministry in May 1996 at the age of 19 at the Greater Demascus Missionary Baptist Church in Dayton, OH.
He has been the recipient of the Ohio Humanitarian Award by the former Governor George Voinovich, a member of the Governor’s Task Force on welfare reform, and a community liaison concerning non- violence. Bishop Couzens has also served as a member of the Northern Kentucky University African American Advisory Board, Springfield Township Strategic Planning Committee, National Heritage Advisory Board, been featured guest on B.E.T and a host and co-host on The Word Network.
“Bishop of the Year” is the award his Cincinnati faith colleagues have bestowed upon him.
Bishop Couzens ecclesiastical affiliations include: Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship International, and E.M.A.C (Elijah’s Mantle Apostolic Covering). He previously served as the third vice president of the National Baptist Convention USA, Inc. – Young Pastors and Ministers Division. He attended the historic American Baptist College in Nashville, TN and received his Bachelor of Science in Biblical Studies degree with a concentration in Leadership and Ministry from the Cincinnati Christian University. Bishop Couzens holds a Masters of Art Degree in ministry from the Indiana Wesleyan University and a DMin from United Theological Seminary. During his DMin studies he held the distinction of being the first seminary student to lecture at United Theological Seminary in recent history.
Dr. Couzens is the Senior Pastor of the Inspirational Baptist Church located in Cincinnati, OH since July 2000. In May of 2002 he led Inspirational in a $1.3 million dollar building project and relocation. The church has experienced explosive growth under Dr. Couzens anointed preaching and teaching. The church has grown from a 300 active membership to more than 5000 in the last ten years. Bishop Couzens has introduced Inspirational Baptist Church to the Purpose Driven Church Model, expanded the ministries administrative support staff, introduced and implemented more than 45 new ministries. Dr. Couzens is leading the church to be a community focused church through our “Make A Difference” efforts which continue to result in hundreds of families being fed, hundreds of families receiving gasoline, and hundreds of families receiving rent and mortgage assistance. Inspirational Baptist Church is recognized as one of the fastest growing churches in the tri-state. The ministry of the church has been viewed weekly by thousands on local network television and by millions on the Word Network and the Impact Channel. Dr. Couzens continues to reach the masses through innovation and relevance.
The phenomenal growth of the ministry prompted Dr. Couzens to heed to the unction of the Holy Spirit and seek out additional space for the ministry to grow and expand. In August 2007 Inspirational Baptist Church purchased a 14-acre water park in Forest Park, OH formally known as Surf Cincinnati. On Easter Sunday, April 12, 2009 the church moved into their 12 Million dollar new multi phase facility which includes a 1600 seat worship center, youth ministry facility with a gymnasium, skating rink, volleyball capabilities, a children’s ministry facility, a sports-plex, miniature golf course, race car track, cafe, production studio and daycare. The building is affectionately known as “The City of Destiny”.
Dr. Couzens has been featured in newspapers, magazines and several other publications including Who’s Who in Black Cincinnati. This national publication highlights African American professionals who are considered exceptional. Dr. Couzens spiritually covers over 200 churches in South Africa, Kenya, and the Philippines ordaining 300+ Bishops, Pastors, and Elders.
….
I wonder if they will add, “and he likes to have sex with hot models” to his bio?
Based on everything I have read, the sex between Couzens and these women was consensual. The only person who might be offended is God, and he evidently didn’t say anything. As of the writing of this post, Couzens is still the pastor of Inspirational Bible Church. Should he be fired or resign, one thing is for certain, as sure as the sun rises in the morning, after a short period of repentance, reflection, and scheming, Couzens will rise again and reenter the ministry. There will always be a church somewhere who will give a “fallen” preacher a second, third, or fourth chance.
C.H. Fisher is a house church pastor located in Asheboro, North Carolina. He recently published a YouTube video about the evils of Halloween, or what is commonly called in Fundamentalist circles, “Helliween.” Enjoy! That’s sarcasm, by the way. Be prepared to warned of the dangers of Satanism, witches, warlocks, and demons. Did you know there are more witches than Presbyterians in America? Me neither.
Bruce Gerencser, 68, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 47 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
America’s secular populace is beyond mere secularism [proof for this claim?]. Over 40% are fully prepared to submit to Antichrist [proof for this statistic?]. A large percentage [again, proof for this claim?] are hedonistic [like John Piper with his Christian hedonism?], anarchist, licentious, have the mind of Satan, promote infanticide, promote or practice sexual perversion, image mutilation [I have no idea what this means. Messing up a photo in Photoshop?] and gender alteration, et cetera [proof for this assertion?]. In short—they are demonic. They have elected politicians that would destroy this nation in an instant [lie] and some are fully involved in that process [bigger lie]. Their hatred for anyone and anything Christian is flagrant, ominous, and explosive [Trump-sized lie].
This quote is from C.H. Fisher is what is commonly known as Grade A bullshit. This is what people say when their minds have been taken captive by right-wing extremism and Fundamentalist Christianity. Fisher is so “pure” that he had to start a church in his home for like-minded zealots.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14
During my years as an Evangelical Christian, I heard many sermons warning Christians not to be “unequally yoked” with unbelievers with regard to marriage, friendship, or owning a business together. The illustration was always of two animals that were not similar in size or strength being yoked together to pull something heavy. A picture was always painted of two animals walking in circles or the transport going awry in some way.
As teenagers and young adults, we were warned to never date unbelievers because that would lead to disastrous outcomes. Our pastors and teachers would give anecdotal examples of Christians marrying a non-Christians in which the Christians were bullied or convinced to give up their principles. Often the non-believers in these stories would mistreat the believers and lead them down roads of debauchery. Or the non-believers would lead the believers away from Christ, only to abandon the believers, leaving the believers’ lives in shambles (for Jesus and the church to swoop in to rescue and rehabilitate them). The pictures painted were quite bleak. The reasoning behind this advice was that a Christian and a non-Christian supposedly have completely different worldviews and sets of values guiding their choices.
I met the man who became my husband through some friends. My close college friend was dating a guy who was the fraternity brother of my husband. In the early 1990s at our university, it was still customary for fraternity brothers to dress up in a suit jacket, khakis, a button-down shirt, and a tie to attend football games. Female students would dress up as well, typically in a nice dress (usually black) with nice shoes and jewelry. A fraternity brother would ask a female student to be his date to the game, meaning that they would meet at the fraternity house for cocktails, go to the game for a while, then return to the fraternity house for more cocktails. Later in the evening, after everyone had changed clothes, there would be a party at the fraternity house, typically with a live band. It was the South, after all, where traditions died hard. However, it was a lot of fun. (Our daughter attends our alma mater, and apparently the formal dress and the game date part has changed, but the pregame cocktails and postgame activities remain the same.) My fraternity friend set me up with his dateless fraternity brother for a football game. I figured that I wouldn’t have to actually spend much time with the guy; that we would both just hang out with our respective friends with the respectability of having a date to go to the game remaining intact. Instead, we hit it off and ended up dating. The rest, shall we say, is history.
When we met, I was in the process of leaving Evangelical Christianity, but as deconverts know, many deeply-held ideas are difficult to shake. My husband was a nominal Catholic, meaning that his family attended mass on Christmas and Easter, along with the occasional wedding or funeral. When we met, he said he was Christian and seemed confused when I asked him “what kind?” He seemed to think “Christian” covered everything. Au contraire, mon ami! I explained to him that there were many different denominations of Christian, each with its own doctrines and practices. As we became more and more serious, I knew that we were an “unequally yoked” couple. He would alternately refer to himself as “Christian” or “agnostic”, but he respected all beliefs or lack of belief. He had a strong set of values, stronger than those of many Christians I had encountered, so I knew he wasn’t a bad person. I knew he wasn’t “saved,” but I was having doubts about the necessity of Evangelical salvation, so I let that go. We got engaged, and while the concept of being unequally yoked nagged at me a bit, I continued to push those thoughts away. I had no intention of converting him to Evangelical Christianity; first, because I was having doubts myself, and second, because I realized it would sound ridiculous to an outsider.
Oddly enough, my family barely questioned my husband’s Christian beliefs. They knew that he had been raised Catholic, but they really didn’t ask us many religious questions. I don’t know if it was because they trusted me to vet a marriage partner or if they were afraid to have an argument with me. Many of my family members are afraid of me for some reason (probably because I am not afraid to speak my mind and to disagree with their ideas). In any case, we were married in our university chapel by a Methodist campus minister. We had our wedding reception, complete with a full bar and a DJ, at the fraternity house. I warned my Southern Baptist grandma before the wedding that we would be serving alcohol and having dancing at the reception, and she told me that it was between me and my husband and that she would stay for a little while. Grandma was a complementarian, after all. After dinner was served, my uncle drove my grandma home while the rest of us partied.
During our early years of marriage, we tried a variety of churches including Catholic, for a while. We ended up at a Congregational United Church of Christ for a few years while our children were little. It was an open and affirming church, with a husband and wife team of pastors. I became a deacon and joined the choir while my husband joined the finance committee. After a few years, each of us had our deconversion experiences for different reasons. He openly called himself an agnostic and then an atheist, while I spent several years saying I was “taking a break from religion” while I sorted out the details. Our children were so young that they do not remember much about our church-going years, and both consider themselves to be nonreligious and will occasionally use the term “atheist” to describe themselves, depending on the company present.
We are equally yoked atheists at this time. Because I was raised in such a hardcore Evangelical environment, I am more anti-fundamentalist than my husband is. He considers most religion to be benign, a way to teach people love and morals and to give comfort during times of suffering or heartache. I witnessed and was a part of the ugly side of Fundamentalist Christianity. I did not talk about it for many years, mainly because the memories were often painful and my embarrassment regarding the anti-intellectualism was too intense. As my daughter began exploring universities in the Bible Belt, I started talking with my family about my experiences so that they could understand the Bible Belt culture. I wanted them to understand a bit more about why mom reads books about evolution, about the history and archaeology of the Bible, about deconversion experiences, and about atheism. Each of my personal stories is met with looks of “WTF”. They are even more stunned to hear that many of our family members still believe these things.
I suppose an Evangelical pastor could use my story as a sermon illustration of why unequal yoking is detrimental to one’s “Walk With The Lord.” While I did not enter a life of total debauchery or divorce, I did deconvert from Christianity. I am an apostate. Though the pastors of my background (and some of my relatives and friends from my past) would consider me in the “once saved always saved” crowd, I am well outside the world of the True Christian®, and in their estimation I have led my husband and children to the eternal fires of Hell. In my estimation, for one to remain in Evangelicalism with beliefs at odds with the findings of history, archaeology, and science, it is vitally necessary to insulate oneself (and one’s family) from outside influences that reveal the tenuous nature of religious doctrines. Therefore, it makes sense that Fundamentalist leaders would urge their flocks to avoid becoming entangled with nonbelievers or to attend secular educational institutions.
Do you have a story regarding the concept of being unequally yoked, either your own experience or the experience of someone you know? If you were or are part of an unequally yoked pair, did you experience any trepidation? Please share your story in the comment section.
