Evangelicalism Archives

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: This is a Man’s World by Bill Lytell

May 4, 2016 Evangelicalism 3 Comments

This is the seventeenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Bill Lytell, pastor Gospel Baptist Church in Bonita Springs, Florida.

Video Link

Songs of Sacrilege: Ya’ll Motherfuckers Need Jesus by The Goddamn Gallows

May 4, 2016 Evangelicalism 4 Comments

This is the one hundred and second installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Ya’ll Motherfuckers Need Jesus by The Goddamn Gallows.

Video Link

Lyrics

Ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
better end your wicked ways
well you know that he’s comin’
and you’re gonna be runnin’
when we’re at the end of days
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost

ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
i see satan in your eyes
well i see you standin’ there
in your fancy clothes
don’t you know that you’re gonna die
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but you keep your bible closed
the father, the son, and the holy ghost

ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
whether if you’re rich or poor
well you know he’s gonna spite you
cuz you’re such a motherfucker
and he don’t like you no more
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
put you deep down in the hole
the father, the son, and the holy ghost

ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
would he ever lie to me
well he don’t like evil
and he don’t like sinnin’
and he don’t like sodomy
ya’ll motherfuckers need jesus
but the devil’s in your soul
the father, the son, and the holy ghost

Songs of Sacrilege: Trash by Tyler Glenn

May 3, 2016 Evangelicalism 0 Comments

This is the one hundred and first installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is Trash by Tyler Glenn, lead singer for Neon Tree.

Video Link

Lyrics

I think I lost myself in your new religion
You say a prayer for me like a superstition
We were always made for love
We could always speak in tongues
On my knees and I’m seeing visions
Yeah, you remind me that seven sins are deadly
You used to baptize me when I wasn’t ready
Water never turns to wine
I’ve been drinking all the time
I think of you whenever I see fire in the sky

[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

[Verse 2]
I said my flesh is weak but the spirit’s willing
And you would sell my soul just to make the killing
If you wanted me to stay
I’d repent my days away
I think of you when I see fire in the sky

[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

[Bridge]
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
You keep throwing me out like
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

[Chorus]
Your friends think I’m a freak
What was in my drink?
I can’t even think, but we got history
In all of this, I lost myself
Maybe I’ll see you in hell
Okay, whatever
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure
One man’s trash is another man’s treasure

Songs of Sacrilege: H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line

May 3, 2016 Evangelicalism 12 Comments

This is the one hundredth installment in the Songs of Sacrilege series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a song that is irreverent towards religion, makes fun of religion, pokes fun at sincerely held religious beliefs, or challenges the firmly held religious beliefs of others, please send me an email.

Today’s Song of Sacrilege is H.O.L.Y. by Florida Georgia Line.

Video Link

Lyrics

When the sun had left and the winter came
And the sky fall could only bring the rain
(I sat in darkness, all broken hearted)
I couldn’t find a day I didn’t feel alone
I never meant to cry, started losing hope…
(But somehow baby) You broke through and saved me

You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in

You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

You made the brightest days from the darkest nights
You’re the river bank where I was baptized
Cleanse all the demons
That were killing my freedom
Let me lay you down, give me to ya
Get you singing babe, hallelujah
We’ll be touching, we’ll be touching heaven

You’re an angel, tell me you’re never leaving
Cause you’re the first thing I know I can believe in

You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

I don’t need the stars cause you shine for me
Like fire in my veins, you’re my ecstasy
(You’re my ecstasy)

You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you
You’re holy, holy, holy, holy
I’m high on loving you, high on loving you

You’re the healing hands where it used to hurt
You’re my saving grace, you’re my kind of church

(You’re holy…)

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: The KJV Song

May 3, 2016 Evangelicalism 3 Comments

This is the sixteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a song titled The KJV. This video features clips of sermons preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist evangelical Phil Kidd. The song was written by Jason Cizek.

Video Link

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Blue is for Boys and Pink is for Girls by Tony Hutson

May 2, 2016 Evangelicalism 9 Comments

This is the fifteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached at North Valley Baptist Church, Santa Clara, California by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Tony Hutson, pastor of Middle Tennessee Baptist Church, Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Hutson is the son of the late Curtis Hutson, one time IFB pastor and editor of the Sword of the Lord.

Video Link

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Somebody Ought to Say Something by Unnamed Baptist Preacher

May 1, 2016 Evangelicalism 5 Comments

This is the fourteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached by an unnamed Independent Fundamentalist Baptist preacher. The kind of preaching displayed in this video is quite common in the South.

Video Link

Scott Gillis Plans to Show Local Evangelicals that Evolution is a Lie

April 30, 2016 Science 4 Comments

While there are certainly Evangelicals who are theistic evolutionists — a strange mix of theology and science — most Evangelicals are creationists. Despite a century and a half of scientific progress, most Evangelicals still believe that Genesis 1-3 accurately, literally, and absolutely describes how the universe came to be. While some Evangelicals are old earth creationists, subscribing to either the gap theory or the belief that God created an aged universe, most Evangelicals believe that God created the universe in six 24 hour days, 6,021 years ago. Here in rural Northwest Ohio, I suspect the majority of people believe in creationism.

On Sunday May 1st, Scott Gillis and Creation Ministries International (CMI) traveling carnival roadshow will be peddling ignorance at Solid Rock Community Church in West Unity, Ohio. According to a Bryan Times advertisement, Gillis will answer questions such as this:

Does God exist?
How can anyone believe in religion when science has neither a need nor a place for God?
Is evolution happening today?
If God is a God of love, why do we suffer and die?

According to the advertisement, Gillis will “expose the bankruptcy of the evolutionary myth.” He also plans to explain how “the scientific evidence, when properly understood, confirms the details of the biblical account.”

In the end, as Ken Ham made clear in his debate with Bill Nye, for Evangelicals, the final answer to every question is THE BIBLE SAYS!

And Scott Gillis? Is he a scientist? Of course not. Gillis has a B.A. in Religious Studies from Oregon State University. According to CMI’s website:

His (Gillis) education still left him with doubts regarding the inconsistencies between evolution, science, world history, and a straight-forward reading of the Bible.

Years later, a friend who was a paleontologist demonstrated to him how scientific evidence actually makes more sense when interpreted within the clear context of the Bible’s account of history. This, along with Creation magazine, ignited a blaze in Scott to seek answers to the nagging doubts that plagued him. Once he realized that science and the Bible were not at odds with each other, he experienced a sustained joy, a renewed commitment to the Word of God, as well as a bold desire to share this life-changing message with others.

Scott now uses this conviction to impact our culture with easy-to-understand presentations that uphold the authority of God’s Word and is one of CMI–US’s most effective and popular speakers. Scott also desires to challenge others to equip themselves to be ready with answers (1 Peter 3:15) to impact their world.

Creationism has never been about science. It is a theological system of belief rooted in Biblical inerrancy and a literalistic interpretation of the Bible. According to creationists, every question can be reduced to the printed words found in the Protestant Bible. God has spoken….end of discussion.

Notes

CMI doctrinal statement

I thought this was a hoot.

Facebook Prayer Requests

April 30, 2016 Evangelicalism 10 Comments

Every day on Facebook the following takes place:

Some Evangelical posts a status update that says: Please pray for me. I need ___________ or I am going through __________ or I have an unspoken request.

And like clockwork, the prayer comments quickly collect below the status update.

Praying.

Praying for you.

You are in my prayers.

Thinking of you and praying God will meet your need.

And on and one they go.

No one ever bothers to check the efficacy of the prayers. That’s not the point. Saying I am praying is a way for Evangelicals to think they are doing SOMETHING while not actually doing anything. Even worse, some Evangelicals are so busy doing “important” stuff on Facebook that they have no time to even type the word praying. These devoted followers of Jesus click LIKE, expecting that their meaningless action will somehow tilt heaven’s prayer scale in the favor of the petitioner.

Look, I get it…saying “I’m praying for you” can often be a way of showing support for people going through trials and adversities. Knowing people are praying for you can be comforting, a sort of long distance hug. But far too often, real needs go unmet because people are busy praying instead of helping. The Bible says, whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might. While this verse can be applied to masturbation — come on you were thinking it — I have always taken it to mean that if I have the power to help someone I should do so. I have sat through countless prayer meetings where well-intentioned Christians were praying over needs that they themselves could have met. I have always been of the opinion — even when I was a pastor — that Evangelicals spend way too much time praying and not enough time doing. Stop praying for the sick, hungry, and hurting and help them!

Sadly, many of the people who say “I will pray for you” don’t even do that.

The Sounds of Fundamentalism: Dish Rag Women by Paul Chappell

April 30, 2016 Evangelicalism 3 Comments

This is the thirteenth installment in The Sounds of Fundamentalism series. This is a series that I would like readers to help me with. If you know of a video clip that shows the crazy, cantankerous, or contradictory side of Evangelical Christianity, please send me an email with the name or link to the video. Please do not leave suggestions in the comment section. Let’s have some fun!

Today’s Sound of Fundamentalism is a clip taken from a sermon preached by Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Paul Chappell, pastor of Lancaster Baptist Church, Lancaster, California. This is video is another reminder of the fact that in IFB churches women are always blamed for the moral weaknesses of men. If church women will just cover up their legs and cleavage, IFB men will never be inappropriately sexually aroused, or so the thinking goes, anyway.