Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
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Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, didn’t actually say that divorced people who remarry will go to Hell when they die. Still, as I shall briefly show below, this is the logical conclusion of her beliefs about divorce and remarriage.
Jesus plainly taught that divorce only happens… “because of the hardness of your hearts” (Matthew 19:8).
No! Leave if you must, but divorce is wrong. Marriage is a lifetime covenant. I received the following e-mail from a woman who left her husband. In a subsequent e-mail she confirmed that she had divorced him…
“I saw your website. I have a question. I am divorced. My husband and I are both saved. I am saved 24 years. He got saved when he met me. He was also an elder in our old church. Anyway, he just kind of turned on me over the years. He was hitting me and the kids. He was also both verbally and emotionally abusive. It was a hard decision, but I had to leave. My ex-husband was destroying my children’ self-esteem and self-worth, not to mention mine. Is it really such a horrible thing that I did? I really don’t think I did the wrong thing. The kids are better now, and I feel safe. Okay, my brother in Christ, please get back to me.”
I’m going to answer this woman’s e-mail with a humble heart and an understanding mind. The Word of God provides the answer to all of life’s questions, but we’ve got to search the Scriptures to know the mind of God. The woman who sent me this e-mail brings up a good point. There are many things that ought to be taken into consideration.
Certainly, abuse is wrong, plain and simple. God created Eve from Adam’s rib, the nearest thing to his heart, to be loved and cherished. A person who is in an abusive relationship has a right to leave. There’s no question about that. Some people have attempted to twist my teachings on marriage and divorce out of context, accusing me of telling women to submit to continued physical and mental abuse. I DON’T teach that and never have. What I do teach is that there are no Biblical grounds for divorce. This is not to say that a wife should not leave an abusive husband; but rather, she should not divorce him.
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1st Corinthians 7:10, “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.”
So, Biblically, if a wife does divorce, she is to REMAIN UNMARRIED. Matthew 5:32b teaches that it is adultery for a divorced woman to remarry…
“Whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
The focus of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:32 was not upon divorce as many think; but rather, upon remarriage. It is adultery to get remarried if you divorced your spouse for any reason.
The question is not if it is okay to divorce an abusive spouse; but rather, is it okay to divorce? If you permit exceptions for which to divorce, people will ALWAYS take a foot if you give them an inch; divorcing for every reason. Although divorce is a hotly debated subject, I just believe that God made two people for each other, to spend a lifetime together, for better or worse. If your spouse is sentenced to life in prison, I think you should be there for them, not move on in your self-righteousness. You’re just as much a sinner in God’s eyes. We all deserve to burn in the fires of Hell. You cannot run from responsibilities, tragedy, heartache, and burdens. If you do, it will haunt you until you die if you have any conscience at all.
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Just because your spouse goes to prison or becomes an invalid doesn’t give you a right to divorce and remarry so you can enjoy life. People have no loyalty anymore, neither to God nor their loved ones. This is what the Bible means in 2nd Timothy 3:1-5 when it speaks of people “without natural affection” in the last days. It is natural to love your spouse, family and close friends; but it will not be that way in the end times, and we are already in these times today. Jesus said in Matthew 24 that a man’s foes would be they of his own household.
Most people who file for divorce attempt to claim that Jesus allows for divorce in situations of adultery, but that is not what Jesus taught. What about all the other sins that one’s spouse may commit? Does that provide a grounds for divorce? No, not according to the Lord. Jesus taught in Matthew 18:22 to forgive, 70 times seven. Divorce is the sin of hate, unforgiveness, and hypocrisy.
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Do you realize that less than one-percent of the population divorced in 1900? Recently in southern California the divorce rate skyrocketed to 75.54 %!!! [This statistic is a lie. Please read this article for accurate information about California’s divorce rate.) Most of the divorces are filed by women. Why so much divorce today as compared to a hundred years ago? There are numerous reasons; but primarily, television, women’s liberation, feminism, greedy lawyers, and a Communist agenda to destroy America’s families by rigging the court system always in favor of divorce. Marriages don’t stand a chance plugged into mainstream society. The secret to a happy marriage is to stay as far away from American culture as possible. I’m dead serious. This hellhole society in which we live today is sick, insane, and perverted.
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Husbands are not allowed anymore in today’s heathen American society to Biblically “rule over” their own wives. Women in America have to a large extent become sassy, arrogant, and rebellious against masculine authority, particularly in the home. This is the Devil’s work of feminism. This is why divorce is so commonplace. This is why women have entered church pulpits all across America teaching false doctrines. This is why American society is saturated today with whorishly dressed women with imprudent character and lewd conduct.
The way most American women dress is a disgrace. Even professed Christian women dress and act shamefully. I recently visited a Baptist church in my area. Most of the women in the church were wearing pants, swinging their hips to the contemporary music while clapping their hands. It was a sad sight. And they call this “worship.” The woman in front of me was moving her hips forward and backward, and every time she went forward the slacks she was wearing revealed the outline of her buttocks. The woman next to her was wearing pants and kept swinging her hip from one side to the other while clapping. This is sinful worldliness in the church. I won’t go back. Do you know what the problem is? Apostate pastors who don’t teach their congregation holy living and are afraid to preach against the sin of immodestly dressed women. As with everything else in this sin-cursed world, the love of money is the root of all evil. You can’t even go to church anymore to escape the pollutions of the sinful world. The love of money is the reason why pulpits are silent today.
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Carefully notice that the woman in the e-mail being addressed failed to mention even one negative thing about herself. Oh, she must be an angel. It is sinful pride that causes all divorces. Divorce is a sin. America is a feminist nation, and women are twice as likely to file for divorce than men. Look at World Divorce Rates and see how the evils of feminism have destroyed America’s families.
Interestingly, and sadly, all we see on the internet and in society today is talk about domestic violence; but NEVER do we hear anything about statistics on wives who refuse to obey their husbands. It is evil. IN GOD’S EYES, it is just as sinful for a wife to frustrate her husband through insubordination and disobedience as are the sins of homosexuality and witchcraft.
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As a Christian, I don’t understand that mentality. I thought marriage was supposed to be about LOVE, between two people, forever. If Jesus was willing to suffer and endure the cross for our sins, then we should be willing to do the same for our own spouse. No matter what one’s spouse does, divorce should never be an option. We are living in an unforgiving, hateful, self-righteous society, which loves to sit at home in front of their TV judging everyone else as being a bigger sinner than themselves. You’d better be careful because one day you may be on TV.
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f you filed for divorce, then you have sinned. If you’ve remarried, then you have also commit adultery. If your spouse remarried, then you caused even more adultery. You may find idiots out there who will tell you it’s okay to divorce; but, I am not going to help make you feel better about something you refuse to admit is wrong. If you have divorced, then you need to confess it to God as a sin, make reconciliation with your spouse as much as possible, and then move on in the Lord. If at all possible, the best thing would be for you to return to your spouse rather than remarry another (1st Corinthians 7:11). Only you know your own unique situation, and what needs to be done. God will hold YOU accountable for what YOU have done, and do (Romans 14:12). I say this with a broken heart over the sin of divorce and with a genuine concern for others. I love you in the Lord whoever you may be. No sin is so deep that it cannot be forgiven and cleansed away by Jesus’ precious blood, but the first step is to acknowledge that one has sinned.
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Divorce causes emotional, physical, financial, legal, children and family and spiritual hardships. Divorce is commonplace in this evil generation. People criticize me a lot for defending abusive husbands, but that’s not my intent. I’m defending the institution of marriage. The Bible says in Jeremiah 17:9 that the human heart is wicked, desperately evil and deceitful above all else. A lot of women file for divorce because someone coaches them into doing so. People should go to jail for meddling in other people’s marriages. It’s much too easy to divorce these days.
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You CANNOT show me even one Scripture in the Word of God that gives anyone permission to divorce because of abuse. And may I say, the Bible does not permit divorce for adultery either.
Here’s the problem with the no divorce/no remarriage position: everyone who divorces and remarries will go to Hell when they die. Every time they have sex, they are committing adultery. And the Bible is clear: no adulterer will inherit the Kingdom of God. There will be no divorced and remarried people in Heaven.
Some IFB churches and pastors believe there are no grounds for divorce; that the exceptions granted by Jesus and Paul were given due to the hardness of man’s heart; that God’s standard is “marriage until death do we part.” While allowance was made for women leaving their husbands if they regularly beat them, separating spouses were told that under no circumstances could they divorce and remarry. They were reminded that Jesus said: Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. In other words, remarry and you are an adulterer.
IFB luminary John R. Rice was asked, “Should A Divorced Woman Remarry Her Husband, Who Wants Her Back, Or Marry The Other Man She Is In Love With?” He responded:
She should remarry her husband. You see, when she was married first, she took a solemn vow to love, honor and obey . . . until death do us part. And the Bible clearly teaches that divorce is wrong. Even if the husband mistreated the wife (and of course all husbands and wives are human and fail in some degree), still she was his wife, she had promised to be with him until death, and God wanted her to obey her husband and love him and be true to him.
I think that if a wife will set out to obey her husband, she will find that love will increase. She will have to confess to God her sin of loving another man, and if in her heart she will honestly turn from that in repentance, then God will help her to love her husband and help the husband to forgive and love her. If things are not always easy, still the only way to happiness is to do right and have God’s blessing.
Satan always has some very attractive ways in sin. Sin is always attractive at first, but it always ends bad. The Bible says, ‘The way of transgressors is hard’ (Prov. 13:15). And, again, the Bible says in Numbers 32:23, ‘Be sure your sin will find you out.’ And Romans 6:23 says, ‘The wages of sin is death.’
First Corinthians 7, verses 10-13, says, ‘And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.’”
Now the thing to do is to believe that God will restore happiness and that He will help straighten things out. So give Him a chance to do that.
Rice’s answer was typical of what I heard as a long-time member and pastor of IFB churches.
In 1994, I was between pastorates and Polly and our six children and I attended an IFB church pastored by my best friend. One night, I went with him on a visitation call to a church family who was having marital problems. They were seriously contemplating divorce. My preacher friend made it clear to them that God hated divorce and that there were no Biblical grounds for divorce. He said, “You have two choices. Either reconcile or separate and remain unmarried.” In his eyes, getting a divorce and then remarrying was a grievous sin and grounds for excommunication. He went on to say, “God says, if you remarry, both you and your new spouse are adulterers.”
Later, on our way home, I questioned him about his position on divorce. I asked, “if they remarry, what is it that makes them adulterers?” He replied, “the sex act.” I said, “So, every time they have sex, they are committing adultery?” My friend paused for a moment — thinking this was another one of Bruce’s famous theological traps — and then said, “Yes.” And sure enough, he walked into one of my traps. I replied, “So, no one who is divorced and remarried is a Christian? And anyone in your church who is divorced and remarried (I mentioned several couples by name) will spend eternity in Hell?” As he pondered my questions, I reminded him that the Bible said in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.
“If, as the Bible says, adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God,” I said, “then doesn’t that mean that divorced-remarried people — whom you say are adulterers — will NOT inherit the kingdom of God?” After a seemingly long period of silence, my friend said, “well, maybe I need to rethink my position.” Ya think?
I wonder if Alexander and Stewart will rethink their position on divorce and remarriage? I doubt it. These two peas in a pod are not known for admitting they were wrong. How could they? Filled with certainty, which breeds arrogance, Alexander and Stewart believe their “words” are straight from the mouth of God.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
God’s will for women is to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). This is God’s perfect path for us, yet feminism has steered women in the opposite direction so that they end up unhappy, unmarried, and childless. This is Satan’s goal, not God’s. God created us for the home and for children. He didn’t created us for the workforce and the stress that comes from this. He created men for this since they have ten times the testosterone as women, but women in their fight for “liberation” lost what was most valuable in their lives.
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The sexual liberation movement wasn’t liberation at all. It was bondage for women. They give sex away for free without the commitment of marriage. They cohabitate without commitment for life. Their children, if they have any, have no father so they’re single mothers in the workforce. This isn’t liberation at all. It’s bondage and exactly what Satan gives. He loves people’s lives to be miserable and unhappy. Christ came to set us free and give us life abundant. Choose you this day whom you will serve, women. God or Satan?
Satan works subtly. First, women give announcements in the churches. Then they read Scripture and become worship leaders with mini-sermons in between songs. They give their testimonies with some preaching added in. They give sermons when they pray. Finally, they preach behind the pulpits as pastors. This exact thing happened in our old church. It is an unbiblical church.
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Women, feminism has so infiltrated the churches that they are far from what we are taught in Scripture. Be in the Word. Believe it as written. Don’t listen to those who twist it to their own destruction. Men are God ordained to be all of the leaders in all of the churches. His will is good. Stop fighting Him and trust Him. Now, go find a biblical church where there are no women in leadership positions.
— Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, Satan Works Subtly, September 28, 2022
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
When you meet a man you may be interested in and he wants to go out with you, go out for a few coffee dates to see if he may be marriage material. Find out if he is even interested in marriage and having children. If not, he’s not for you! Find out his beliefs and if they’re compatible with God’s Word. Keep it on this level for the first date.
If he wants to keep dating you and you feel the same way, let him know soon that you want to be sexually pure. If he does too, then this is a good sign. If not, you probably want to stop dating him.
You both need to be honest about your pasts. This should all be out in the open but details do not need to be provided IF either of you have a promiscuous past. But each of you have a right to know of any addictions, porn usage, fornication, etc. A solid marriage must be built upon trust.
If a man is still struggling with an addiction, I would encourage you to stop dating him. If he hasn’t struggled with an addiction for several years and still is being held accountable, then this is a good sign.
Does he attend a solid, Bible believing church? Does he want children? Is he a hard-worker and willing to provide for you to be home with the children? Discuss vaccinations, family bed, circumcision, education for children, and all of the other topics that can cause division. Once married, you are going to need to submit to his decisions, so it’s good to know what he believes about everything.
Meet his family and have him meet yours. Ask for your father’s blessing if you continue to move forward. Men are usually better judges of the character of another man than women are. Trust your father’s judgements. Get to know his family. How does he treat his mother? Does he have a good relationship with his father? Know that those who come from divorced families often have deep-seated problems with anger. Watch for signs of this. You don’t want to marry an angry man.
The most important things to know about a man you are considering marrying is that he is a strong believer in Jesus and is willing to work hard. Everything else will fall in place if he has these two important qualities
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
About five years ago, women began wearing thong bathing suits on our beaches here in San Diego. When they were laying on their stomachs on their towels, they looked naked. I got to the place where I despised walking on the beaches with my husband. I hated being where naked and promiscuous women were, but he liked walking on the beach, so we continued walking on the beach. Well, those same beaches have completely eroded and are filled with rocks so we no longer walk along it. God took care of that!
Aren’t Christians supposed to avoid sin, abstaining from the very appearance of evil? Yet, Ken Alexander wants to take daily strolls down beaches littered with almost naked women (and men). Shouldn’t Alexander refrain from going places where he might be tempted to lust? Of course, Alexander is a man. Jesus may be in his heart, but he loves nice asses and breasts. 🙂 Asses and breasts win every time. 🙂 Advice to Lori: don’t let Ken walk on the beach alone. 🙂
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
Women have often asked me about oral and anal sex. Most young women now shave their pubic hair. Some are into violent acts in the bedroom. Pornography has invaded the marriage bed. God commands that we keep the marriage bed undefiled.
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Mark Driscoll is the one who reinterpreted Song of Songs to describe oral sex. He promotes anal sex in his marriage book too. No other theologian has ever interpreted oral sex in the Song of Songs until him. I know many women participate in anal sex with their husbands too. This is a dangerous practice. My dad who was a doctor his entire career said that it was like playing in the sewer. Why do you think homosexual men have so many diseases?
Oral sex was never talked about openly until President Clinton claimed that oral sex was not sex. After this, oral sex became rampant in the high schools. Now, young women shave their pubic hair. Why? Porn stars do and this is what men want.
Let’s STOP doing what porn stars do, women! No, you don’t have to submit to anal sex or anything sexually that you feel uncomfortable with or that is painful. Sex is supposed to be a beautiful exchange between a husband and his wife, not a mimicking of pornography. Even lingerie isn’t a biblical fact that women must wear even though it sure seemed like it to me when I was getting married. Most women who have ever existed never wore lingerie and had no problems with their sex lives.
Sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyed by the husband and his wife. No one needs lessons from porn stars. It’s should be a private activity where a couple learns together how to please the other and not talked about with anyone else. If a young woman is having trouble, she could consult an older, wise married woman for counsel.
It’s tragic how porn has infiltrated even Christian’s beds. Teach your sons to FLEE pornography. It’s a twisted evil that has invaded this land to destroy men, women, and marriages.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
Corrupt minds. Reprobate. Wax (Grow) worse and worse. Deceiving and being deceived. Defiled. Unbelieving. This explains it all, doesn’t it, women. Those who choose to not believe in Jesus Christ are blinded by truth. They don’t understand it. (Read Romans 1.) They can’t comprehend what I teach. What I teach is cruel and unreasonable to them. They falsely believe that what I teach is dangerous. They follow Satan, the father of lies rather than God, the Father of Truth.
Nothing should surprise us in our culture. God tells us that those who reject Him and His truth will grow worse and worse. I love how John MacArthur taught that we should have no expectations on this earth. Satan is the prince of the power of the air. His wickedness is unending. He has many slaves. We serve the God of Truth. His ways are higher than our ways. Sometimes we don’t understand what He commands of us, but we obey Him because we know He is good and His ways are good.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
“This feminist ‘freedom’ didn’t really arrive at its sad, frenetic decline until the birth control pill hit the scene. Contraception and its evil twin, abortion, paved the way for an irrelevant, ungrounded, self-absorbed, empty, mournful existence. So much pain. God’s Word, His people, and the precious family are places of true joy and experience that has value that lasts. Even the barren are set in families and find a place to ‘give and receive’ if we trust Him.” (Lauren Channon)
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In general, women are short-sighted. Some will claim that the [sic] birth control has helped them with some disease or problem that they have in the same way women will be angry if I suggest that women should have never had the right to vote. The [sic] birth control kills babies. It causes abortions. Millions upon millions of unborn babies have been slaughtered in their mothers’ wombs because of the birth control pill.
How, you may ask? The pill itself can cause abortions. It has also caused almost everyone to have a birth control mentality. “We get to decide when, how many, and if we’re going to have children.” God has been completely left out of the conversation, even among Christians. Now, pregnancy is called an “accident” or an “inconvenience” when discussing a human being [sic] being formed in the womb rather than a blessing from God. The pill has also led to massive fornication which leads to a massive number of abortions to cover up the couple’s immorality. Women have also decided they want careers rather than having babies. Why do you think we’re at the point where doctors and parents can decide to cut off a five-year-old boy’s male anatomy? Life is no longer valued. This is [sic] path that the pill has taken us down, and it’s horrific.
What about voting? Women overwhelmingly vote Democrat. There would have been no Democrat Presidents without women voting. It’s mostly the single and liberal women who are voting for large, intrusive government programs. They don’t have husbands, so they want everything free from the government. Instead of depending upon a husband to provide for them, they prefer an impersonal, corrupt government do this for them. It’s also the Democrats who are trying to vote in the right to be able to murder a baby weeks after it is born. Wouldn’t you all gladly give up your right to vote so women wouldn’t vote anymore and more babies would be given life??? I sure would in a heartbeat. Beside [sic], most voting is fraudulent now.
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
Women come unglued when I try to convince them that giving women the right to vote has been so destructive to this nation. They try to convince me that they are Christian Conservatives, so it’s great for them to vote! Look at the big picture, women! Women overwhelmingly vote Democrat. There would have been few Democrat Presidents if any elected if women didn’t vote! Women vote for abortion and large government. These are both highly damaging to our nation. Men tend to see the big picture far better than women do. They see the damage that big government has done and is doing to this nation. THIS is the big picture!
Bruce Gerencser, 67, lives in rural Northwest Ohio with his wife of 46 years. He and his wife have six grown children and sixteen grandchildren. Bruce pastored Evangelical churches for twenty-five years in Ohio, Texas, and Michigan. Bruce left the ministry in 2005, and in 2008 he left Christianity. Bruce is now a humanist and an atheist.
Your comments are welcome and appreciated. All first-time comments are moderated. Please read the commenting rules before commenting.
